Beauty and the Beast: Doorways of Perception Bk 8
by Vetivera
Summary: Terry makes an unexpected trip to New York, days before her wedding to help Jacob and Cathy overcome an unexpected outcome to Jacob's kidnapping.
1. Chapter 1

Doorways of Perception

Weeks after Jacob's kidnapping, he could still feel a sense of anxiety flood his system. It wasn't the drug, which had coursed through his veins, deadening his unique ability to communicate. It was a flashback memory, related to a moment in time when he was out of touch with his wife and parents.

Ever since Jacob gained a true knowledge of himself, he realized that his exceptional father was his one and only, true, cellular connection to the world. Catherine, his mother, was dead. His grandfather as loving and kind as he had been was still not his flesh and blood. Jacob never gave any indication to anyone that he harboured deep seated angst around loss and abandonment. Truth was that he spent a great deal of time worrying about his father and what would happen if he was ever captured, or killed.

Jacob sensed, rather than knew, a time when his infant life hung in the balance and he could not bring himself back from the precipice of death. Even as he felt himself slipping away, the strength and energy of his father drew him back, halting an unwelcome slide into nothingness. Jacob had no conscious knowledge of the events of his birth during his early childhood years. Intuitively he never strayed far from the edge of his father's energy until he was well into his teenage years. Somehow the young Jacob must have communicated this need to his father. Vincent seemed to reduce his forays into the upper world, remaining below, working with the other children to ensure their development. It allowed Jacob the opportunity to stay close to his one parent. It was the trip to Europe, with his uncle Devin, which broke the underlying need for close proximity.

Much later, when he was older, Jacob learned of the brutal separation from his mother and the time in captivity with Gabriel. It gave him the opportunity to understand his deep seated fears. He vowed to avoid the possibility of ever being so vulnerable again, and yet…, he walked into Virgil's trap with eyes wide open. Granted Virgil was clever, had skills of his own and a devious plan but Jacob had not heeded the internal messages of his body. Worry over his mother, his wife and his sisters left him careless of his own safety.

He had no wish to live life always walking on the edge. He was young, barely starting out in marriage and a career. Somehow he would have to find a salient balance between his fears and his ability to live fully and openly. The knowledge, of how to proceed, failed him after his experience with Virgil. A desire to retreat stymied his actions and puzzled those around him who expected that his good health and exceptional skills would help him to recover his equilibrium within days.

Weeks had passed since Virgil was captured and sent to prison, and yet, Jacob was still listless, unfocused, and inclined to be fearful of venturing beyond the needs of the day. Everyone could sense his withdrawal. Outside of his parents, the most concerned was the Director, Kurt, who had allowed himself to be drawn into the family dynamics, not with regret but grateful for the opportunity to mentor his young assistant. Jacob had not faltered in his work, but the speed which set him apart from his colleagues was no longer evident. Kurt could find no fault with Jacob's performance but his emotional retreat from the investigative part of the job puzzled the Director.

Kurt broached the subject with Jacob several times over the succeeding weeks but received little more than a shrug for his inquiries. Since there was no lack of effort in the workplace, he had less legitimate grounds for pursuing something more intimate and risk anger. Jacob already had a father who could probe into his son's despondency. Kurt backed off but remained watchful.

At home, Vincent and Catherine were just as concerned and just as unsuccessful as Jacob's boss. They observed their serious but previously fun loving son become quite withdrawn from his family. If anyone had been asked to put a finger on exactly how Jacob was different, they could not. He still smiled, played with his sisters, spent time with his parents but there was a distance to his involvement, a great divide which he seemed unable to conquer. Neither Vincent nor Catherine broached this with their son. Both knew as well as anyone, that he could come to them at anytime with his concerns. Even Catherine, who had struggled initially to heal the more than twenty year breach caused by her absence, could not entice her son into a heart to heart. She knew that the profound effects of their early separation had affected Jacob but she hoped that day by day he would know that in her heart, she was always at his side. It was, because of him, that she returned from that dark place to find her lover and her child.

Vincent sensed the deep well of despair which seemed to rise up in his son. From his own experience of life, it seemed inevitable that one day, Jacob would be faced with the demon of his childhood fears. Vincent knew as well as anyone that Jacob would have to seek the help he needed. None could be given until he was willing to open himself up and acknowledge the fear which comes with vulnerability. He knew an aching desire to hug and comfort the young man, still mature and capable beyond his years, but struggling with debilitating and ingrained childhood fears which had resurfaced.

The one person who had access to the underground stream of sadness was caught up in her own wave of hopelessness. Cathy never imagined that having it all meant nothing in the face of fear. She was comfortable, capable, loved in a way she had never known and yet the events perpetuated by Virgil tore down all of her defenses and left her crying for the better part of each day. A quick morning trip to the Sanctuary to ensure the safety of the women was almost too much, but not enough to satisfactorily fill her days. Erin had made it easy for Cathy to effect an almost complete retreat from life.

Despite the luxury offered to her by Brian and Holly, Erin chose to continue to spend her time below. She would come above every other day to see her son and grandchildren but she steadfastly refused to move or change her life quickly. She was fearful of the abundance of joy which filled her life for the first time ever and she needed to take things slowly. Erin was still very much in charge below. Cathy was deeply grateful for her support. The two hours below were quite a balm to Cathy's troubled spirit. Much of her time with Virgil had been spent above. The Sanctuary was her saving place. She did not want to hover around Erin. They conducted their business in the usual way before Cathy returned home to pass her time with Cilla.

Since the girls had a much larger family, the time was limited. She, like Catherine and Vincent felt no rancor about sharing them with their blood relatives. Cilla appeared to be a natural heir to the skills and incredible faculties of Holly. The bracelet given long ago to engage Cilla while the women spoke seemed to connect them at another level. For Vincent, Catherine, Jacob and Cathy who were all only children, the extended family could only help the young girls to develop more fully. Cathy had too much time on her hands to engage in ferocious thoughts, directed at Virgil, which inevitably left her with either an impotent rage or on the verge of tears.

She waited impatiently for Jacob to return home every night, clinging to his warmth, checking to make sure it was truly him. Relief was held in abeyance until the minute he appeared safe and sound. They stayed out of eveyone's way, rarely leaving their upstairs apartment, talking late into the night before falling asleep, cradled in each other's arms. The number of times they shared tears, for the serious but carefree people they had been before their world had been shattered, would be known to no one. As a couple, dealing with issues which stemmed from childhood, and exploded during their enforced separation, they knew that the only way to heal would be to find strength in their love.

Since none could see this process of transformation, everyone worried about the young couple. Indeed Jacob and Cathy knew how close they were to the deep chasm of despair which follows trauma. Their sense of safety, however could not be secured or guaranteed by anyone outside. They built a cocoon around themselves, using it as a protective barrier until, a sense of healing could take place. Days turned into weeks. Healing, however, had its own pace.

Oblivious to the needs of the world outside, the young couple ignored the mounting decisions which needed to be made. Jason and Terry had accepted the gracious gift from Patrick DelCassian. The wedding was less than a month away. Terry hoped that either Jacob or Cathy would be able to help coordinate some of the minor details which weddings entail but Catherine had been adamant that they were not to be disturbed.

Terry understood post traumatic stress. She had built her career around helping people recover. Catherine and Sue would take on whatever needed to be done. There was the phone, a computer, and a wedding planner who would coordinate the major decisions. Jacob had contacted Eric, Joe Maxwell's assistant who seemed more of a social director than admin assistant but cheerfully agreed to supervise the events and massive planning needed to bring so many people from all across North America to watch the talented and beautiful Hispanic woman marry her 'Russian' policeman.

Terry remained quite disturbed however by Catherine's reports of Jacob and Cathy's retreat from a healthy social life. She was more than capable of carrying out whatever she wanted to do with or without help. Once the planning was underway, she made a decision. Uncertainty of the outcome was warring inside her, but she was determined, just the same, to help the young couple if she could.

* * *

* * *

'How are things with you Carl?' Terry spoke in Spanish, loving the opportunity to chatter away in the language of her parents. Carl had made the midday trip to the airport to pick her up.

'So-so. My daughter is graduating from high school this year. She wants to go away to College and I am finding it hard to let go.'

Terry laughed. She remembered when her own father echoed the same sentiments. 'You're not really letting go, just putting some distance between you.'

'Can't be enough for her. She's mad at me all the time.'

'Are you autocratic at home Carl? I would find that hard to believe.'

'Well maybe a little lately. I suppose I could ease up.'

Terry continued to chuckle. She loved people naturally. It was what made her so good at her job. Her questions were never perfunctory. She was genuinely interested in what happened in people's lives, especially those whose energy intersected with her own. It was almost three years since Carl and his working partner Rob travelled west to reunite Vincent and Jacob with Catherine. Terry had been newly pregnant. They met again when Terry and Jason came to New York for the wedding of Jacob and Cathy. Now she was here to make preparations for her own wedding.

'I don't mean anything by it, but you sure have come a long way to get married.'

'I can't imagine a wedding without Catherine present. Some of Jason's people originated in upper New York State, so it seemed like a good compromise. I could marry him in a hut in the Himalayas but friends are important and Catherine is special.'

'She sure is.'

Terry didn't want to push Carl for any confidences. She wasn't inclined to gossip. Carl and Rob learned to be discreet working for the movie industry. Whatever their clients did behind closed doors remained that way. He spoke of his family and work, nothing more and she didn't pry. It wasn't long before the van pulled up in front of the Brownstone and Terry was wrapped in warm arms, still thin but surprisingly strong considering her history. Terry was unable to hold back the tears which overflowed from her eyes when Vincent held out his arms to her. She was enveloped into a fiercely protective and grateful hug. Sue's smiling face waited for her at the end of the line. They had an incredible bond which had been forged by their work with Catherine.

'You seem to be blossoming in New York Sue' she said, looking into the eyes which once held her in contempt.

'I am really happy. Where's Laddie?'

'It's enough that I made it here. I am weaning him and this little trip will ensure that he eats more food. It has been hard working and breastfeeding still but well….' She stopped and looked around. 'No one wants to hear about that I'm sure. I just don't want to leak breastmilk all over my wedding dress.'

Everyone laughed before heading into the living room to sit and talk. Carl said his goodbyes. He would be around the following day to take Terry north to Saugerties to meet with Patrick and the wedding planner to finalize details. Terry stared hard at her friends. She went from face to face, taking in everything, listening to them talk, hearing the inflections in their voices as they related the events of the past months. Clearly this last episode, hot on the heels of a major murder case, took its toll on all of them.

'How kind of Mr. DelCassian to offer his place for us to get married, in the circumstances. It seems like the perfect solution. The other grounds we thought about in Phoenicia was also lovely but accommodation would have been a nightmare.'

'Patrick and I have known each other since childhood. He can't do enough for Jacob. It was very sad about his wife but he weathered the storm and now he wants to get back into life again. This will also help him.'

'Yes, Jason said they both have a keen interest in horses. You know he grew up in the Midwest with his mother and stepfather. After she remarried they lived on a ranch for years. He will be in seventh heaven if there are horses around.'

'I know you aren't staying too long Terry. There is so much to prepare, but if you can do anything to …..'.

Just then the door opened. Cathy's footsteps could be heard coming down the hall. She stopped at the doorway, smiling broadly at the surprise visitor.

'Terry! I didn't know you were coming today!' Cathy ran forward for a hug but sobs wracked her body and tears filled her eyes before she could get out another word.

'Do those tears mean that you are happy or sad to see me?' Terry asked pushing back some stray strands of hair from the sad face.

Cathy mustered up a half smile. 'Happy. I'll see you when you come up' she mumbled through the tightness in her throat. Terry would have to sleep upstairs. All the available rooms downstairs were occupied. Sue had been willing to share her space but Terry would not hear of it. There were empty rooms in Jacob and Cathy's apartment where Terry had slept before. If she was closer to the young couple she may be able to get a better handle on their concerns.

Cathy leaned over and kissed her mother in law. 'I'll be upstairs Mom.'

'Ok, my love. We'll talk later.'

Catherine knew the words were empty ones. Her unhappy daughter in law would stay in their apartment until Jacob came home. Rarely, did they come down for family dinner. Cathy glanced at Vincent and held his eyes for a fraction of a minute before leaving the room.

Terry said nothing. She closed her eyes and nodded to no one in particular. Once Cathy was out of earshot, she got up. 'I'm hungry. It may be early afternoon in New York but my stomach tells me it's past my breakfast time. I have missed Sue's cooking immensely.'

It wasn't time for confidences. They had the evening to talk and discuss things.


	2. Chapter 2

'I'll take your bags upstairs Terry.'

'Thank you Vincent. I'll go up a bit later. I want to spend some time with Catherine first.'

'Women's talk I suppose?'

'Yes.'

Terry didn't expand on her single affirmative response. Vincent already knew what was troubling his wife. He would have no problem being excluded from a conversation which would likely give Catherine the opportunity to share her concerns. She could only speak as freely and openly as she wished, with the woman who brought her back to life. None knew better, the hard work and dedication shared between the two women which culminated in the reunion of Catherine with her lover and son.

Resigned to the inevitable Vincent nodded. 'I bow to the far superior energy of women, in the matter of talk.' His warm smile added reassuring meaning to his words. No sacrifice was too great to ensure the happiness of his family.

Catherine took Terry's hand and walked towards a door which led downstairs. Surprised, Terry followed meekly.

'Come and see what Vincent has done in the basement. It's cooler there anyway.'

'You mean there's more than this beautiful space upstairs?'

'Vincent has become quite handy.' Catherine said proudly, knowing that her husband had put in some hard work to refurbish the basement and backyard. She slowly negotiated the steps leading downstairs. Catherine still had some trouble walking up and down steps. She hung on tightly to the double rail. Terry said nothing, observing Catherine's movements with a professional eye and noting how far her patient had progressed.

'Originally he wanted to make this a secure area if we were attacked or unsafe, but Jacob convinced him that if anyone wanted to breach the house this wouldn't help. How true that turned out to be.'

Catherine said no more as they reached the bottom of the stairs. She drew Terry to her side and waited, allowing her friend to take in the scene before them. The wide space was unlike anything Terry had ever seen. Basements were a rarity in her part of LA.

'What is this Catherine?'

'A replica of Vincent's home.'

'Wow!'

Vincent seldom spent much of his time below anymore. The tunnel community, now organized under the eye of a council, ran very well without his vigilence. He was not far away in an emergency but his need to be with Catherine was greater. To relieve some of the strangeness of living above, he brought some things from his room. He set aside a small area to be a replica of his library and writing space. That corner of the basement gave him a great deal of comfort during troubling times. The walls were refashioned in polished stone. A small indoor waterfall graced one corner. The lights although artificial, reflected the candle lit spaces below. It gave every appearance of being a haven.

There were comfortable chairs near the corner where Vincent had hoped to create a tunnel to the underground. That idea had been abandoned. Instead the whole area had been worked into something that would recreate the wonderful environment which brought Vincent and Catherine together.

'Did you and Vincent fall in love in a place like this?'

'He saved my life in a place like this and yes, I fell in love with him there too. I know we spoke about the tunnels when you were here and you never got to see them but it is very much like this only more profoundly spiritual.'

'Jason has been down twice. So farneither visit has been under good circumstances.' Terry moved around, touching the walls, observing the treasures. 'I want to see the tunnels in the way you do. This trip, I will look forward to it.'

'I want to share that with you too.'

'This is a lovely set up Catherine. It seems kind of eerie and cold at first but then you can sense a more natural feel to it.'

'Yes, I think that is what Vincent wanted to achieve. We have trouble getting over to the tunnels as often as we would like. This helps him a lot.'

Terry nodded understanding. She knew there were parts of LA which she missed, even as the excitement of New York could not be denied.

Catherine smiled and invited her friend to sit. 'Terry, I am so happy to see you here. There are so many times in a week or even in a day when I long to sit with you, just like this, and talk.'

The two women chatted at length about the changes in their lives. Terry was curious about the testing which had been done on Catherine at the hospital. She had anticipated some problems when she first removed the gastric feeding tube from her former patient in California. It wasn't hard to find the core cause of her pale complexion and weak feelings.

'The lack of parietal cells is a reasonable explanation for your inability to maintain a healthy hemoglobin. You should feel a difference with the injections of B12.'

'I do already. I have to admit that caring for the girls was physically challenging. I never seemed to have any energy. Now it's getting better.'

'Catherine, you were so brave and foolish to take on their care. You were hardly recovered yourself.'

'I know but they helped bring me from the brink of a deep depression. I had to do something for them.'

'You have a good heart!'

Terry had been troubled by Catherine's decision to take on the challenge of raising the girls. Her patient had just returned to the one place in the world which should have allowed her to live comfortably, fulfilling a destiny which few could ever hope to achieve. She knew the adjustment to a normal life would be difficult, almost impossible at times given the history, but on the surface, all seemed well.

'Tell me how you have been coping Catherine.'

'Terry, I don't want to burden you when you have so much on your mind already.'

'I took this time off partly to be with you. There are matters I have to look after, about the wedding, but ...I'm here for you and I mean it.'

Catherine took a deep breath. She wanted to give Terry a real understanding of her concerns. She started out sharing her thoughts about the ongoing threats from external forces which seemed to paralyze her family.

'You were here when it first began. Even as one branch of the extended family is neutralized another pops up. We can't run and we cant hide. The emotional cost of defending ourselves is taking its toll on my husband, my son and my daughter in law.'

Catherine paused, feeling suddenly fearful. She realized in that moment how much her family's safety and wellbeing meant to her. Another deep breath was needed before she could continue. 'I can't live below. I would like to but I am too unsteady on my feet. My doctor advises against any other physical stresses and I can't override his concerns.'

'Neither can I Catherine.'

'I know Terry. I do trust him and you too. What I need is perspective. We can't live in a cocoon here either, even though we may try. Both Vincent and I, want our son to have the life he never did.'

'I understand the feeling of being trapped. For years, Jason was so caught up in his work with the DEA. I never knew when he would come home. In my fear of losing him to a gunshot, I was scared to make a committment to our relationship.'

'What did you do?'

'Wasted years running from myself and the love of lifetime... until the day you woke up and showed me the real power of love. If he died, I realized I would have wasted years living in fear. A day may come when he might not come home but at least I would be able to look back and know that during our time together we gave all to each other.'

The easy conversation and low light soon had Terry lulled into a place of comfort. Before long she felt the need for sleep.

'Is there anything else worrying you Catherine? I don't think I will be able to hold up much longer without a nap.'

'You said Jason told you all about what happened. I am worried about the kids. I'm sure you know that already but we can talk about it later.'

'Tell me what your thinking is and I can mull it over in my mind for awhile.'

'I feel sure that some of Jacob's feelings now are tied into those early months, when he was taken from me, but he was also not with his father. My son is too sensitive, at some deeper level, not to be aware of that early separation. The empathic connection we all share was broken. While he was being held this last time, he could not communicate with his father. The stress of his early life, I think, has come back to haunt him.'

Terry nodded listening to Catherine words carefully, knowing that the young couple would have to face their own demons. 'What of Cathy? I am shocked by her vulnerability.'

'Me too, even though I am sure she has an amazing wellspring of inner strength. Anyone else would have been completely lost after enduring what she did.'

'I think you are right, but she also has a wonderful role model for courage. I am going to ask her to accompany me tomorrow. I need help. She can provide it. The drive will give us a chance to talk.'

'Are you sure Terry? I don't want her to be stressed.'

'I know. I want to give her every opportunity to talk….if she wishes. We'll see.' Terry tilted her head, staring at Catherine with a slightly puzzled look. 'I am surprised that you would feel worried about this.'

'You pushed me hard.'

'I did. You needed it. Cathy doesn't.'

Catherine chuckled. 'Terry, you are an incredible person. You are also tired. Let's go back upstairs and you can lie down.'

'No….. leave me here. These chairs are amazingly comfortable. Just call me for supper. A couple of hours and I will be fine.'

Sue came down with a light blanket and a glass of fresh water. Terry elevated the legs and lowered the back of the chair. Before long she was deeply asleep having reassured her hostess that she would not cause any harm to the son or daughter in law who meant so much.

* * *

* * *

Jacob was concerned when Kurt called him into the office to talk. He knew that his boss was trying to help him overcome his angst but Jacob resisted help at every turn. He was surprised when the conversation centered on the vast holdings of Holly and Brian.

'They are trying Kurt but it's hard for them to make the changes as quickly as they would like.'

'What about her father?'

'He left for India right after her wedding. Kardin had a complete conversion. Now he wants to meditate in some mountain monastery.'

'I don't suppose you had anything to do with that?'

'I just presented him with the opportunity, nothing more.'

'I don't trust Brian and I don't know Holly. The DA will be on their backs if they don't get things cleaned up.'

Jacob sighed. He knew that Kurt was sharing privileged information. Holly and Brian had inherited a massive web of businesses, some legitimate and others deeply tied into crime rings around the world. They were both trying to unload or disband anything that would connect them with drug or human trafficking. Holly was sickened by the type of activities which used to occupy her father's time.

Brian, on the other hand, knew of his grandfather's holdings, knew the old man had tried to legitimize his organization but still had a lot of work ahead to make them legal. There would be repercussions, for the newly married couple, by those who were inclined to challenge any change in status, especially if it meant a decrease in the massive income available to those at the top.

Jacob had no wish to get caught up in the struggles or spend any more energy on fighting the elements of evil within his clan. Virgil's claim against Holly was not an isolated event. Everyone else, who had been caught up in the kidnapping, weren't just innocent bystanders. Vincent and Jacob were enormously valued for their unique skills. Virgil would have been happy to trap both men as well as his 'bride'. Fortunately, he underestimated Vincent's legendary appearance and strength.

Jacob also had the rich heritage of alchemy handed down to him in Pater's papers. The various formulae would always be an invaluable and seductive lure for other clan members. Those thoughts distracted him from the man seated behind the desk. He turned his attention back to Kurt and voiced his support for Holly and Brian

'They are truly trying to work within the law. If there is too much pressure on them, it could lead to major gang war. I would not like to see that happen.'

'No, I wouldn't either. As much as I dislike what Brian did, I have to admit that he looked and sounded much different. I believe in the possibility of redemption if ….'

'Give him time. I hope he will make good on his promise.'

'Are you feeling alright Jacob?'

There was a long sigh. Jacob knew he hadn't been himself. The question was personal and not perfunctory. Kurt had asked him many times, and in various ways, how he felt. Since his return to work, it was clear that Jacob was not functioning at the level of his own high standards. He had been inclined to dismiss the concerns of his boss but to continue to do so, in the face of his obvious withdrawal, was disrespectful.

'I guess we have come close to having this discussion for awhile but I just wasn't sure what to say. Cathy and I have been hiding away emotionally. I hope it hasn't affected my work?'

'No Jacob and you don't have to trust me with your confidences. I just want you to know I am prepared to listen if you need to talk.'

'I just need to feel safe again,' he murmured softly. 'I don't know how long that will take.'

'I don't know either. What you went through was terrible. Somehow you have to find a balance between living normally even while you are aware of the dangers which are unique to you and your situation.'

'I wish I could Kurt. I just don't know what I need.'

The repetition of the word 'need' had the immediate effect of bringing tears to the young man's eyes. A vision of Cathy rose up before him and he knew she was crying too. He wondered when it would stop.

Sensing the change, Kurt said quite gently, 'we're done for today. Go home. Talk it over with someone. Try to come in tomorrow with a plan. You can't go on like this.'

'I know. Jacob rose from his seat and returned to his office. He remembered that Terry was coming to spend a few days, trying to finalize the details of her wedding. A moment's pause allowed him to sense that she was already at the house. _How do I know these things? If I know that, why can't I help myself? _Jacob cleared his desk and left the building. Even if Terry was at home, Cathy was also there and her tears washed over his heart. She was his priority.

_Was he dragging her down with his depression? Was he insensitive to her needs even as he was overwhelmed with his own. _

Jacob remembered his father's words from the day when he first kissed Cathy. How important it was to be receptive to the needs of a woman, always seeking forgiveness if she had been wronged through his insensitivity. If he was at fault in anyway then he needed to make things right with her. She had struggled with that monster Virgil, taking his abuse in hopes of saving her husband. Jacob could not comprehend her strength and courage in the face of the assault. Perhaps he did not show enough appreciation. It had been a long time since he bought anything personal for Cathy. He stopped in a small store on the way home, browsing for something which he hoped would reassure without words and cheer her up.

Jacob was in and out of three stores before he found something which would convey his feelings. He actually felt a lightening of his spirits with the little gift. Kurt was right. He couldn't continue to operate from a place of fear, sadness and unfulfilled needs.


	3. Chapter 3

Jacob stepped outside the store and glanced up and down the street. He had done more looking than originally planned. The gift, for Cathy, was tucked safely away in his pocket. He was content with what he had chosen, both in its beauty and meaning. For a few moments, as he stood in the aperture of the store, he was paralyzed with indecision. Walking was one option. It had been a while since he felt safe enough to stroll along the main road. He could take a taxi or call Rob. None of those choices felt authentic. They all seemed cowardly.

Jacob knew he wasn't truly a coward. What he really felt was a disconnect between the real Jacob and the tentative young man he had become. Somehow he had lost a connection to his inner self. In computer jargon, he defaulted to some previous programming. An imaginary vision of a human computer brain brought a smile to his face. Surely, he just needed to reprogram some wiring in order to feel whole again. He had done it with the Giants, with Kardin, with Patrick. Why not himself?

Before long, he was buffetted by people wanting to get around him. He realized that it was impossible to stand still, blocking doorways. Almost without thinking he started walking towards the Brownstone. It had become his refuge. _'When did I stop thinking of the tunnels as my refuge?_' he wondered. Deep in thought, Jacob continued, picking up his pace. He could feel the pounding of his heart, not from the exercise. He was in superb condition. Fear was driving his anxiety. _'Stop!'_ he admonished himself. Looking around at the busy road, people were moving along briskly. All were trying to reach a destination, uncertain of their fate. He realized that he was no different from them, on the surface anyway. What set him apart from the masses was an untapped skill set, which he had not even developed fully.

At any given time, with minimal effort, he could rise above it all with one single bound. His keen eyes could pick out anyone possessing evil intent. With minimal effort, Jacob could redirect that evil energy away from its target. He could, tap into the past and use it to affect the future. Jacob knew that he had started work on knowing what his gifts were and understanding their role in his life. In spite of his progress, a part of him held back from experiencing them fully. He admitted fear of the power given to direct will over fate. _Fear, always fear_ he thought. What was it about that emotion which stood in the way of his happiness?

Resuming his pace once again, he adopted a more resolute gait, determined not to hide in the shadows of his anxiety. How could he ever hope to be a beacon of strength for his parents and his wife, if he spent his life in dread? What he was coming to understand, was the need to pursue more knowledge about the gifts which had been bestowed on him. It was clear that few of the people in his circle of colleagues and friends understood. Those, like Virgil, who did have some in-depth knowledge of the majickal arts, could easily take advantage of the novice.

His father didn't know how to help him. Surely he would have done so already. Jacob realized that he needed a tutor, someone skilled who could help him understand himself. The last thing he wanted was to be vulnerable again. Over and over, the events on the day Virgil trapped him played in his mind. All his senses should have been alive to the implied threat. _What did I miss? _The answer continued to evade even his most penetrating thought process. Frustrated with the inability to access a breech in his thinking patterns, he gave up, surprised to find himself at the front door of the Brownstone.

_'It is this lack of awareness which got me into trouble in the first place. I have to pay attention_.' Determined to find a bridge between his senses, he opened the door with a heavy heart, lightened only by the thought that Terry was visiting. Since he had no real siblings, she was exactly what he imagined a sister might be like. Jacob felt closer to her than to any woman other than his wife and mother. There was something precious about her aura. She projected a confidence and knowledge which inspired those around her to do better. He knew her brother had died fairly young, unable to recover after being injured in a car accident. Jacob couldn't hope to fill his shoes but he did want her to feel that he would be there for her, if she ever needed him. How could he ever repay her for giving him his mother?

* * *

Cathy was sound asleep when he went upstairs. He elected not to disturb her. She had not slept well since the kidnapping and any rest was invaluable to her shattered nerves. He hoped she had not cried herself to sleep but tear tracks told a different story.

Sue, who was busy getting the evening meal prepared, informed him that Terry was resting in the basement. His parents were out walking with the girls in a secluded area of the park. His choices were limited. He decided to go downstairs and asked Sue to call him if Cathy woke up looking for him. Jacob was light on his feet, not wanting to disturb her, but Terry stirred in the chair and turned her head to look at him in the dim light.

'Did I wake you Terry? I'm sorry.'

'Don't be. I was only half sleeping. I could hear a pin drop in my sleep. Come here and let me hug you.' She rose from the chair and wrapped her arms around him. They held each other for quite a long time.

'Oh Terry, I hoped we would have some time to talk. It seems so long since we've been alone.'

'No, not since California.' She took his face in her hands and kissed him softly. 'It was like yesterday that you came into the living room up there in the hills and I saw you. It was like looking at a young version of your mother.'

'I have no way of ever explaining to you what it meant to me to meet you. You are like an angel to me and my parents of course, but for me you are….' His voice broke. Unable to continue, he just held her tightly.

'C'mon Jacob, everyone is crying here today. What's going on? I am getting married and I want every one to be happy at my wedding, not sad.'

Jacob kissed the soft cheek. 'Can we sit here for a minute. I know that I need to pull myself together.' Jacob threw himself heavily in the same chair his mother vacated not two hours before. He held Terry's hand, longing to feel it stroking his hair, like a child needing comfort.

Terry said nothing more. Waiting for someone to speak was difficult, for a person as naturally gregarious as the lively Hispanic woman. She held her tongue, knowing that Jacob needed to pour out his thoughts into a deep well of silence. When he was able he began.

'I **am **happy about your wedding. I wish you and Jason the very best. I can't think of two people more deserving of happiness. I think you know that already.'

Terry nodded. Words, from her, would be superfluous. She continued stroking the hand, nodding and waiting.

'I am lost Terry. I have lost my way and I don't know how to find it.' The pause was long but she held her tongue.

'Everyone around me is worried. So am I. I want to be happy again but there's something missing. I feel afraid. I don't know how to fill that gap between fear and…..' Sobs racked the body as he sat down on the floor, head on the warm lap of his sister/friend, the healing hand stroking his golden hair, the voice whispering words of comfort.

_'Deja que tus lágrimas fluyen mi hermanito. El destino le asestó un golpe terrible a tu nacimiento. Y, sin embargo, era el amor que salvó a ti y lo colocarás en otro camino. Tienes que encontrar tu fuerza en el amor mirando hacia adelante y no hacia atrás.'_ Terry spoke softly, reassuringly in her language of love. She knew jacob could understand, at some level, the meaning if not all the words. When he was ready she would speak English again.

'I'm sorry.' he murmured embarrassed by his weakness.

'Why Jacob?'

'I should be stronger.'

'Do you think because you are a man, you have the monopoly on strength? No, you are a human and what you suffered was inhumane. You need time to heal. Trauma on top of trauma. This is very potent.'

'Am I afraid because I am a coward?'

'What we perceive as fear is an emotional addiction. It can hold you hostage just like the drugs which were injected into your body. What you are showing is just a manifestation of fear. What you feel now is despair, and depression because you were traumatized. You can only override its effects with love. Love yourself and love those around you. But, give yourself time to heal Jacob.'

'I wish I understood this better.'

'You need to understand grief. It is not fear. In the face of real fear, you would act because your body is programmed to make you act. You need to think about that. The experience of grief holds an element of fear, among many other sensations. You will find your answers in an understanding of it. Do you listen to music?'

'Sometimes. Cathy is the one who loves it. She listens all the time. Why do you ask?' he querried, wondering about the change in topic.

'I remember how important it was for her to get the music right for your wedding. I want to do the same for mine.' Terry sidetracked a bit giving him the chance to recover his equilibrium. 'I believe music has amazing power to heal and also to help us understand ourselves. There is a song by Whitney Houston called The Greatest love. It sustained me through many things. At the end of the song, she sings_, find your strength in love_. I always believed that, with all my heart, but I didn't really understand it until I met your mother.'

'She and my father have an incredible love.'

'They do, but she loves you too. Do you realize that you were the catalyst which helped her recover?'

'What do you mean? I thought it was my Father.'

'Yes but you are the bridge, the part of her which connected the love between them. I checked with Joe and the only times your mother showed any sign of activity was when you were doing things out of the tunnels. Her full recovery started when you went to work but she showed some early signs when you were in school. I believe you also went to Europe with your uncle? It coincides with another period when she was alert.'

'You never told me this.'

'I thought you knew how important you are to both of them.'

'I do but I always thought I was kind of incidental to their love.'

'Shame on you Jacob! You are the manifestation of their love.'

'There is a part of me which believes that my mother would have been spared if she wasn't pregnant. I saw videos of her when she was held hostage.'

'Doesn't matter what your interpretation is now. You have chosen a rationale which fits how you feel about yourself. The truth of that time cannot be relived and the architect of the disaster is dead. It is done. Learn the lessons of what it means to be a hostage, forced by someone else to do what they want. How can you protect yourself from another episode in your life? Where you are vulnerable? It is not your destiny to be held hostage unless you choose to make so. You need to look to the future and what it holds for you. I meant what I said about fear. Real fear drives you to action. Emotional fear holds you and binds you to its will. It was love, love for Cathy which led you out of that situation. Let go of the past, which is your grief Jacob, and use love to help you discover your future.'

Jacob sensed the urgency of Terry words and knew that she was right. He sensed the truth of her words. He was feeling a little sorry for himself and knew that it stemmed from a source of insecurity deep inside. He focussed too much on loss and not enough on creating. His earlier thoughts had touched on the possibility of moving forward and not allowing himself to ever be trapped again. He needed to understand and to build on his strengths. His eyes met Terry's. With a half smile he leaned forward and kissed her.

'Thanks Terry. You are the best, a true sister and friend. I think I see what I have to do. First, I will help Cathy find her strength, but we are going to put all of this behind us. I promise.'

'Of course you will. I have every faith in you.'

'I just need to have faith in myself.'

Jacob could hear Sue call out. He knew that Cathy was up and excused himself from Terry. She smiled and asked him to let Sue know that she would be up soon. Terry was very emotional. She caught a glimpse of herself years down the road, talking to her son in much the same way she had spoken to Jacob. She hoped that when the time came she would have the courage and foresight to listen. She longed to feel laddie's little arms around her neck. Her breasts ached with the unshed milk_. This is going to be harder than I thought_.

* * *

Cathy waited for Jacob in the kitchen. Her puffy eyes gave every appearance of her own turmoil.

'Did you have a good sleep?' he asked enfolding her in his arms.

'I thought you would come and stay with me when you got home.'

'I am with you now. That's all that matters.'

Cathy gave her husband a strange look. It wasn't what he would usually say. She expected an apology and got none. He really didn't have to stay with her.

'I want to listen to a song. Do you think you can find it on your MP3 player?'

'If I have it. What's going on with you?'

'It's time to climb out of the hole Cathy. I can't live there any more and I don't want to. How long 'til dinner Sue?'

'About an hour.'

'We'll be back.'

Cathy easily found the song which Terry had recommended. They hooked up the double earphones and left the house to head for the park. In the distance they saw Vincent and Catherine with the girls. The young couple waved but they didn't stop. Jacob was purposeful, not allowing Cathy to falter. Remembrance of being forced to walk with Virgil washed over her and was soon forgotten with her husband at her side. Jacob marched Cathy over to the very tree where she had first kissed him, after one of their early dates.

'Do you remember this tree?'

'Yes…I was pretty bold that night.'

'No, you felt a need to do something and you found your courage.'

'Did I?'

'Look at us today. What you did, opened a whole world of change for me and you.'

'I was very nervous.'

'You were? Remember it was my first kiss ever. I held you so tight it scared you.'

'Yeah you were so strong. I really kind of liked it, but I didn't want to say that.' Cathy smiled and glanced at her husband. For weeks they had been living in a vacuum, feeding into each other's depression.

'I sent you home in a taxi and went below to talk with my Dad. I was so upset, thinking I had scared you off for good.'

'Did he give you good advice?'

'I thought so at the time and I still think so now.'

Cathy looked into the face of this man who was so dear to her. She felt stirrings of her old self. 'What made you think of this now?'

'Cathy, let's sit for a minute.' They brushed away a small area so they could lean against the trunk and held hands. He asked her to play the song which Terry had recommended.

The words were beautiful. He asked her to play it again. The second time around she sang along.

'Find your strength in love…..'

'The next day, after we kissed, I looked for something which I hoped would express my feelings and my apologies for hurting you. I wanted, more than anything, never to hurt you again.'

'You haven't Jacob. My tree pin was the sweetest gift. It meant a lot. Really!'

'But you have been hurt because of me and who we are. You didn't sign on for this life I'm sure.'

'Jacob, are you blaming yourself? Don't please? My life with my mother was horrendous. You have no idea. I am just feeling the effects of it. There are things which I live with inside of me, things that I hate. Being at someone else's mercy always weakens me and exposes those things which I hate the most. But, without your love, I would have been lost.' She looked into his eyes pleading for something indefinable, but he understood.

'Can I say that I have been feeling a similar vulnerability? I was lost without you. You are my grounding, the firm foundation which stabilizes my world. I would have moved heaven and earth to find you, to keep you safe'

Jacob reached into his pocket and pulled out the gift. He didn't hand her the little box to open, but took out the ring which was inside and placed it on her finger.

Cathy was speechless.

'When we stood under this tree, I was pretty green and so out of touch with the real world. Somehow since that time we have come through a trial of fire. I feel that I have grown in ways I didn't expect and your love has sustained me through it all. When a tree grows, evidence of its health is the leaves it puts out. This ring represents our leaf from this tree.'

'Jacob, Jacob, where on earth did you find this. It's magnificent!' Cathy's eyes shone with delight. Her husband was one in a million. The gold ring with a leaf shaped emerald stone and diamond stem was incredibly unique and beautiful.

'Cathy, I want to get past this setback. For awhile I think I wanted to be a child again, safe in my father's castle. It was just a need to hide. I can't do that because I love you and I need to be a …'

She hushed him with a finger on his lips. Very soon her own softness replaced the fingers and they clung together, huddled under the tree. In their silent vow was a promise.


	4. Chapter 4

'Cub, Cub, where ya bin?' Cilla asked running into the waiting arms of Jacob.

'Come here you little princess. Ware yu bin?'

'Cub, you talk funny.'

'Just like you.'

Cilla laughed in response to an unmerciful tickling from her brother. He finally stopped and she gave him a big hug. Reluctant to let go, she clung to his neck while he transported her down the hall to the kitchen where the sounds of voices could be heard.

'Did you have a nice walk?' Catherine asked. Relief filled her voice at the pair of smiling faces she had not seen for awhile.

'We did. Look what Jacob gave me.' Cathy beamed running over to her mother in law, jand outstretched. The 'oohs' and 'ahhs' from everyone quickly elevated the general mood. Jacob, still holding Cilla realized that the air of doom which had settled on the family emanated directly from him. Within minutes of his changed mood, the atmosphere in the house evolved into something more light-hearted.

'Is there a special occasion? Did we miss something?'

'No Mama. I love my wife and she loves me. I think that's the best reason in the world to celebrate.'

Catherine looked up at her husband, before returning to Jacob. 'I could agree more.'

If Catherine was disappointed that there wasn't other news, she kept it to herself. It was enough of a reason to be happy if the long weeks of melancholy could be lifted from her son and his wife.

'Dinner is ready and we have waited long enough,' Sue interjected, peeved that her efforts had to be put on hold. A peck on the cheek and a smart remark from Jacob soon had her laughing.

For the first time in weeks the whole family sat down to a delicious meal. Sue had outdone herself, preparing foods with a flavour of the south west in honour of their guest. Everyone participated but more importantly, every one found at least one reason to laugh during the lively conversation. Even little Mea heard something which brought a shy smile to her face. Ensuring that everyone made a contribution, Jacob asked Cilla how she and her sister had spent the day with Brian and Holly.

`Uncle Brian, `Cub.`

`Well yes of course. He is Uncle Brian. And what do you call Holly

'Chachi!' The little girl laughed enjoying the sound of the word.

`Uncle Brian and Chachi then. What did you do all day?'

'We talked a lot. He showed me pictures of him when he was little...then grandpa came to visit.`

`Grandpa?`

`Yes Grandpa. He`s over there,' she said pointing to a corner of the kitchen.`

Everyone turned to look where Cilla`s outstretched finger pointed. If anyone could see an elderly man in the corner, no one was prepared to admit it but Jacob and Vincent knew children often saw spirits and encouraged the little girl.

'Is he saying anything Cilla?'

'He's sad.'

'Why?'

'Cuz he can't hug me like you do.'

'No, he can't Cilla, but he can touch you. Hold out your hand. Tell him it's alright.'

Cilla did as Jacob suggested. She giggled before looking at Jacob again. 'It tickles 'Cub.'

'Who's there Jacob?' Vincent asked quietly, showing appropriate reverence for the visitation.

'I believe it's the spirit of Brian's father. I'll talk to Holly. She'll have a better understanding of it. He seems to want to make contact.'

The conversation steered into the realm of spirit and spirit communication for a while before moving on to Terry's wedding. It was clear that the bride to be was quite nervous. She didn't feel as if anything was ready. Terry understood that a great deal would depend on what she found in Saugerties.

'Things don't have to be perfect but with so many people coming from all over the place, it has to be at least a little organized.'

Terry waved off the efforts to reassure her. 'It's no good. Until I see the place it's going to be...' she sighed throwing up her hands. 'Look Cathy, I hope that you will be able to come with me tomorrow. Carl will drive me up. It doesn't have to be all day but I would appreciate another set of eyes and ears.'

Cathy looked at Jacob before nodding. 'Of course I will. I'll be your bride assistant,' she offered readily.

The sigh of thanks appeared genuine but Terry knew that Cathy could not refuse her request. It would be a much more pleasant day without the depth melancholy which had held the young woman, but a day out would also help to release her from the final ties of her recent experience.

'Despite my nap, I am worn out. I am going to pump off some of this milk and then go to bed.'

'Are you taking it home with you?'

'No Sue. I could start my own marketing with all the frozen milk I have at home. Why do you ask?'

'They can use it below.'

Terry didn't question the comment. She nodded. 'It'll be a better feed for the older babies but use it as you need it. I'll put the bag in the freezer when I'm done.'

She made the rounds kissing each person goodnight. 'If Jason and Laddie were here I would be perfectly happy,' she said smiling at everyone before making her way upstairs.

Mea and Cilla were clearly tired. Jacob and Cathy had their own plans for the evening. Everyone parted company.

* * *

Up stairs in the master bedroom, Jacob leaned over his wife, his face serious. 'Are you happy Cathy?

'Jacob, I am quickly finding out that there are so many nuances to being happy. At this moment I am as content as I have ever been. It's not the ring, although, your words and its beauty, seemed to shift something in me. No, you were right about us digging ourselves into a deep hole. There are still a lot of issues I need to work through but when I am with you, I feel not only loved but also safe.'

Cathy paused to allow her words to sink in, although Jacob never needed much time to process information. She touched his face, tracing the familiar lines she loved.

'If you asked me, when we first met, what I wanted more than anything, I would have said I want someone I can trust. When you told me today that you would have moved heaven and earth to save me, I felt that trust with you and knew that you had fulfilled an important dream for me.'

Jacob held his wife tighter. They left their parents downstairs, feeling the need to explore a little more of their newly discovered liberation. For days they had not felt any desire to engage in lovemaking. What their hearts craved, was a chance to talk though the hurts of past and present. Like children finding their way through an emotional maze, they moved forward until the way was blocked. Then they would retreat looking for another way out.

'Cathy I have only ever wanted to be the kind of man who could take away all your hurt and make you feel as secure and happy as possible. I can't imagine my life with anyone else. I hope someday that you will trust me enough to share your deepest hurts. I will love you no matter what you tell me. There is nothing in this world that will make me love you any less. What I want is for you to continue to give me reasons to love you more every day.'

A few hugs and kisses sealed the intent of their declaration before the pair found themselves sound asleep. Jacob knew that he wanted to dream again, to find his lost spirit but he didn't want to leave the realm of life in which he held his wife in warm, safe arms. Even if Cathy didn't know when his spirit left to explore other worlds, Jacob could not allow it. In time he would return to his astral travels. He could not be happy otherwise. The teacher who would guide him into the future lay out there waiting for him.

* * *

In the master bedroom, on the first floor a different discussion was happening between husband and wife,

'Vincent, I think the children are happy again. Do you?'

'I think they are better, but Jacob is not completely at peace. He seeks something that none of us can help him identify or find.'

'Why do you say that? Is it something you feel or know?'

'I've always known Jacob has special gifts. They are beyond anything I can even imagine. There is no way I can help him either except to offer my support.'

'Are you worried about this Vincent?' Catherine sat up in bed and turned on the light. 'Why haven't we talked about this before?'

'There's nothing I can tell you except to say that I am waiting for his own self-acknowledgment. He will let us know.'

'I don't understand Vincent.'

'I'm not sure I do either. The day Jacob left the tunnel to start his job above, I had a sense then, that he would have a destiny which even I, couldn't imagine. You know,' he said, pulling his wife to him and holding her close, 'when you came back to me I thought that was to be the brilliance of his life, finding you, but there's more. I have watched him negotiate difficult cases, work magic to find the answers to Patrick's dilemma, pull himself out of a drug stupor to save his wife and yet I feel that none of these things have really demonstrated his full talent.'

'More strength means more trouble.'

'It won't be the physical kind. It is a mental and energetic kind of strength which he has yet to access fully.'

'I wish I understood these things but I don't. I just want Jacob and Cathy to be safe and happy. That's all.'

Vincent leaned over and kissed his wife. 'My dearest love, you worry if he is happy and if he is sad.'

'Yes and I am lucky to be able to do so.'

'Of course!'

Catherine would have liked to talk more with her husband, but it had been a long day. Even with the girls visiting Erin, Brian and Holly, her days were still full. Past contacts were calling every day hoping to speak with her, wanting to bring her back to the social circles of New York. She wasn't sure how much to take on. Vincent would be left out of most events. She had no wish to exclude the love of her life from anything nor did she want to return to the life they had before. If there was any choice to be made, then the softness and warmth of her husband's body was clearly where she wanted to be, including, only the circle of friends who accepted them as a couple. With a thought for the upcoming wedding which would see them travel away from home for the first time, beyond the boundaries of the city, she settled into a dreamless sleep.

* * *

'It's late sleepy head. I am going to work.'

'Kiss me before you go.'

'As if I would say no to such a delightful invitation.'

Jacob rained kisses on his wife. It wasn't long before she returned them in full measure. When he could catch his breath, Jacob mumbled something about getting side tracked.

'If you didn't want to be late...'

'Hush...'

Eventually Jacob was about to tear himself away from his wife and leave for work. Cathy was left smiling. She looked forward to her day out with Terry. Feeling light hearted for the first time in weeks, she got ready before making her way downstairs to see who else was up. Terry sat in the kitchen, the rhythmic sound of a pump quickly filling two small bottles.

'Good morning. I don't know why I thought I would be able to give this up,' she announced unnecessarily. 'Just the thought of helping those kids below has increased my milk supply.'

'Terry you are amazing. Listen, what time is Carl coming for us?'

'Carl is outside even as we speak and this river keeps running from my body. Why do you ask?'

'I need to make a quick stop below to see if Erin needs anything before we leave the city, if that's alright?'

'Sure, can we drop this off?'

'No leave it for Sue. The Sanctuary is quite a distance from the tunnel where Vincent lived.'

'I have to see that before I go. Ok.'

Terry finished up and grabbed her bag and note pad. They made a brief stop to say goodbye to Catherine and Vincent. Carl, with his smiling face, stood at the door of the van ready to welcome the two women. He liked them both and looked forward to sharing this time with them.

Their first stop at the Sanctuary was interesting. Erin continued to be profoundly thankful to Carl for the gift of the sewing machine. She never failed to let him know how much at each visit.

'She's so skilled,' Cathy said, giving some more detail about the dresses which Erin had created.'

On the drive over, in response to questions from Terry, Cathy went into a little detail about her work below and her plans for the underground space. Erin had been mentioned but the older woman's story was not Cathy's to share. In the interests of confidentiality Cathy held her tongue. Erin, on the other hand, knew in detail, the events which brought Terry into Catherine's life.

'I've heard about you Terry. I can see your strength. You saved Miss Catherine.'

'She saved herself. I only facilitated the process.'

'Are you visiting?'

'No I'm getting married upstate and we are going to spend the day onsite,' she offered smiling at Cathy and Carl so as to include their contribution.

'What dress are you wearing, if you don't mind me askin'?'

'Oh, I had a white dress, which I bought in LA a couple of years ago. It finally fits. I plan to wear that.'

'Can I say that you deserve better?'

Terry was taken aback. Cathy smiled knowing that Erin would not be deterred.

'it's a nice dress.'

'Let me make a dress for you. Thanks to Cathy, I had a home when there was nowhere else for me to go and thanks to Miss Catherine, I have my granddaughters. She kept them alive after my daughter...was...killed.'

Erin broke down. She did that often. No one wanted to stop her tears. She had years of grieving to let go. 'Erin, there isn't much time.' Terry said softly.

'Don't need much. Just give me your size. You Puerto Rican like him?'

'No Mexican/Spanish/ Cuban/American.'

'Perfect. When will you be back?'

'Two weeks. Are you sure?'

Erin just nodded. 'Cathy will help me get the material. Some of the girls who have been down here are interested in what I'm doing. Don't worry. It'll be a great project.'

Cathy's brain began ticking over immediately.

'We'd better get going ladies. There's still a long drive ahead.'

Terry left her details with Erin. She was bemused and almost totally dumbfounded by what Cathy had initiated and maintained in the Sanctuary. She didn't mind saying so and heaped praise on the young woman who was struggling with several issues. A clearer picture continued to emerge.

As Terry had planned, the long drive into the country was intimate. The confines of the SUV lent itself to sharing.

'Are you really a mixture of all those cultures Terry?'

'Oh yes and I have quite a history. My maternal grandparents travelled from Spain to Cuba when my mother was just a child. She was sent from Cuba to Miami during the Castro revolution and ended up being separated from her parents for two years. She endured a lot. No one was unkind to her but she was an only child and suffered great homesickness. After she was reunited with her parents, they moved further north. Life wasn't easy for the immigrants but she did well in school and got a scholarship for UCLA.

My paternal grandfather was also from Spain. He was an opera singer and orator. Thanks to some influential friends, he had an opportunity to go to Mexico to perform. While he was there he fell in love with my grandmother. She was a native Mexican. They had two children, my father and his sister. The problem was that he also had a family in Spain.'

'Oops! That sounds weird.'

'I suppose. I have long since ceased to think about it. I love my grandmother. She taught me the gift of natural healing. She was a wonderful woman, mother and grandmother. My father, being the only male of six including both sides of the Atalantic, has taken the mantel of his heritage on both sides and used it to create a persona unique to him. You'll see what I mean when you get to know him. When my mother met him at university and finally agreed to go out with him, she said yes to his marriage proposal on their first date.'

'Did their love story have a happy ending?'

'Until the day my brother was hit by the car, their love was unwavering and steadfast.'

'Wow! Sounds like something we all strive for. How come it took you so long to commit to love Terry? Did you think it would be impossible to find a love as perfect as your parents?'

Terry held her initial response. She knew the question held a hint of the insecurity which Cathy could not hide. 'Before I tell you about me, I have to tell you Jason's story. A lot of who we are as a couple is tied up in both our histories.'

'I know there is a connection to this area. Was it his mother or father?'

'His Mom. She was born in upstate New York. You know, she wanted to be a dancer...ever since she was young. She left home at 17 to head for Manhattan. She was going to be a Rockette.'

'Really?'

'Yes, for a dancer it would be a dream come true. She was really talented and made second string but couldn't get any further. She got inveigled by an unscrupulous agent to move to Nevada. The show he put her in was pretty lousy but she had committed herself to it and couldn't get away from the contract. She was performing the night Vladimir came into the theatre with his police buddies. They were having a weekend away. Well he took one look at her and decided that she was the one for him...at least so he thought. He left his telephone number with her and came back quite a few time over the next few months to try and get her to come to LA. Well she wouldn't without marriage so... he married her.'

'Did they elope in a chapel in Las Vegas?'

'No, nothing so glamorous. He sent her a ticket and she boarded a bus for LA. He put her up in a motel for two weeks while he got the marriage licence. A JP married them and then they were man and wife. You know, they had almost eight years of a not bad marriage. Jason was their only child. The problem was that Vladimir was a cop, prone to periods of anger and melancholy and refusing to acknowledge that deep down he was gay. When his long lost lover returned to town, the turmoil he felt was expressed in anger towards his wife and they argued for two full years before he finally told her the truth.'

'What! Jason's father is gay?'

'Do you mind Cathy? My renaissance man is quite ok with this now. Is that going to be a problem for you? Vladimir is coming to the wedding.'

'No Terry. I just...Jason's so masculine...it's not a problem.' Cathy was clearly flustered. ' I just thought I was the only one whose father is homosexual.'

Here was the crux of Cathy's problems. Terry knew she would have to tread carefully. As she did with Jacob the previous day she held her tongue, watching and waiting for Cathy's sudden silence to abate.


	5. Chapter 5

The uneasy silence stretched out for quite a while. Cathy wasn't crying but she was definitely withdrawn. Terry expected a question from Cathy. Unlike Jacob, who had no problems pouring out his heart and soul, Cathy would want answers. Terry was correct in her assessment.

'Did Jason ever get to see his father...growing up ...I mean?'

Pops is Jason's best friend, always has been. I can't see that changing.'

'Pops?'

'Really, I call them Pops'n'Phil. They have been together as a couple almost 30 years and both are very close to Jason.'

Cathy was silent for awhile digesting the information. A 'worry' frown marred her lovely features.

'Look Cathy, I don't know your situation but I can tell you about Jason and his dad. I don't think he would mind me sharing some information about their incredible relationship.'

Cathy nodded her assent.

'Jason's mother, Cassandra or Sandy as she likes to be called, realized that her husband was going ahead with the divorce. For her, the initial separation was bad enough but then he also planned to set up a relationship with a man. She was furious. Her anger was directed mainly towards Vladimir but Jason also suffered. She decided Pops was unfit to be a father. To punish him, not necessarily consciously, she removed his son and ended up hurting both of them.' Terry paused, obviously saddened, while recalling details of a time when her husband-to-be was desperately unhappy.

'Sandy moved away, went to court and refused to allow any contact between father and son even when the court reluctantly upheld Vladimir's rights. Jason was deeply hurt. He and his dad were very close. They normally spent hours together, swimming, hiking, surfing, riding, playing baseball. His father is an amazing athlete and so is Jason.

'Yes, he's very agile.' Cathy omitted the obvious _'for his age'_ but it was understood. She relaxed a little, realizing that Terry's story might have a happier ending that her own.

'Jason always does too much, in my mind, ... but that's another story. Anyway, the separation from his father was deeply painful to a young impressionable boy. Jason fought his mother every day. He devised all kinds of ways to talk with his Dad. In the beginning he kept in contact by flagging down police cars in LA and asking them to send a message to his father. Once that contact was established, Vladimir made sure there was a police car nearby every day. When Sandy found out about the subterfuge she moved to San Diego. While she was there, she met Hugh, a really nice navy guy, still fairly young, who was retiring. He proposed to her. She accepted and moved to New Mexico where he now owns and operates a large family ranch.

Jason was twelve. Vladimir fought hard and eventually won the right to see his son. At the most, Sandy would only allow two weeks in the summer and a week at christmas. He begged Jason to behave, do well in school and decide by age sixteen what he would like to do. He promised, along with Phil, to welcome him if he chose to return to LA. Well, Jason did as he was told. By age 17, he returned to his father. He completed his final year of high school then joined the Police Academy.

It was Hugh, Sandy's husband who kind of pushed her to ease up a little. She got pregnant and had another child. That helped to heal the pain of her relationship with Pops.'

'Hugh sounds like a kind man.'

'Yes. He's strict but kind hearted and very reasonable.'

'So how come it took you and Jason so long to get together. Was he worried about being Gay too?'

'No, he was worried about being a good father. He had the best role model. After he joined the DEA, sometimes he would be away from home for days on dangerous assignments. He didn't want to start a family and then not be around literally or figuratively for his own child.'

'Really? It's about being a good Dad for him?' At the affirmative nod, Cathy continued. 'So what's your story Terry? Sounds like you had a pretty good childhood?'

'I did, but at the heart of our family is the child. After my brother got disabled, I was working, looking after him, mourning my mother and studying. I was not paying attention to my body and some fibroids I had grew so big, I looked like I was having twins. The Doctor told me he couldn't save my uterus but he would try. For sure, I would never get pregnant. After Mario died, I gave up hope of anything. I told the Doc to just take it out. I didn't care. Well he didn't remove it, but there wouldn't be any kids. Obviously somebody was wrong. Jason and I played this game of non commitment for years. He didn't have time and I couldn't have kids...two great reasons not to be together.' The sarcasm was evident in her self-deprecating comment.

'Oh Terry, who would ever believe the two of you, could have been so ...'

'Stupid?'

Cathy laughed in response. 'You just don't know about people. I could never imagine that your lives were so complicated.'

'We were certainly misguided. Pops'n'Phil have been our biggest supporters and the greatest grandparents. In fact they are looking after Laddie while Jason is working. Sandy has healed the breach with Vladimir and accepts that he is a just a loving dad like any other. She's not quite sure what to make of Phil but they are polite to each other, sort of. Vladimir says he will always love Sandy. He just couldn't be in love with her.'

In keeping with his practice of discretion, Carl had been silent throughout the journey. He always wondered what saddened the kind-hearted young woman who loved Jacob so much. She was intelligent, lovely and hard working. He couldn't understand why she wasn't happy. He hated to interrupt but wanted to update them on the impending arrival. 'Ladies? We have about another thirty minutes drive.'

'Thanks Carl.' Cathy turned her attention back to Terry.

'Your story has a happy ending. Jason's Dad sounds like a nice guy. I suppose that being homosexual is not a deterrent to being a good father. I just don't understand why having a child, then abandoning it, comes easy to so many men.'

'Sexual orientation has nothing to do with parenting, except that it may be harder for homosexual men to get a family. Not all heterosexuals make good parents either.'

'It seems that Jason was, at least, sure of his father's love. 'My BSD was a horrible man; a coward who got my mother pregnant and left her penniless on the streets. If it wasn't for Mom and Dad, Lena, my mother, and I would have been dead and that's only the beginning.'

'BSD?'

'Yeah, biological sperm donor.'

'Maybe it wasn't because he was a homosexual Cathy. Perhaps he was just a troubled person.'

'I suppose being an unhappy bisexual man only added to his long list of moral crimes. He could have been a good father, but he was a parasite who hated me and killed my mother with his disease. She nursed him until he drew his last breath. She treated him like a poor lost soul even when she herself was close to death. Once I got to know the Raeburn men, I understood that Frederick certainly didn't have a good role model . He couldn't even _pretend_ to be a decent human being.'

Cathy turned away and stared out the window. She was ashamed to tell this wonderful woman about her past. The anger and venom could neither be denied nor held inside. She bit her lips to hold back the pain and the disgust, trying to suppress what had obviously been a source of deep hurt.

Warm arms offered a hug and soon found themselves wrapped around the sobbing body. Shaking shoulders told their own story of the physical impact left by years of abuse.

'Cathy, I am sure there is so much more. I want to hear all of it, even your anger.'

'It's awful Terry. My mother lived off the streets. She left the tunnels and returned above when I was four. She did try to live differently but life was too tough. Eventually I was taken away from her. When she got me back, she still couldn't change her life. The men who came to the rooms were horrible. Every day of my life I was scared of being hurt. Sometimes, I had to run away and hide. Once I nearly got caught. I passed out when this creep grabbed me. He tried to choke me. I know there is a part of that episode which I don't remember but when I came to, my mother was hitting him with a pot. I never saw her so angry. That man hurt me and took away what was left of my miserable childhood. If Jacob ever knew he would hate me.'

'Cathy, never! Never in a million years! He loves you. His heart would be broken if he felt you couldn't trust him with this knowledge. You were a child, for God's sake and not at all responsible for anything that happened to you.'

'Terry, I am not sure of anything. We had no protector as far as I can remember. Even though he wasn't around, my mother seemed to have a way of contacting Fredrick. She called him for help after that but he came back to us with AIDS and gave it to my mother. He made us leave New York and go Florida but he didn't love me or treat me well. Lena, my mother, cared for him even when Frederick's father, Edgar Raeburn scorned her and me. He always refused to accept his son's sexuality. He blamed my mother for Frederick's illness and...and...

'It's alright Cathy. You don't have to share anymore now. I can't imagine how painful this has been for you and the burdens you carry. I will tell you what I told Jacob. Loving yourself is hard when you haven't been shown love, but you have to find that little girl inside of you who was so hurt and learn to love her. Then you can meld the woman you are today with that little girl. It would be like picking up Cilla and hugging her, except now it will be you own energy which you need to restore to wholeness.'

Cathy was crying. She squeezed the hand close by and promised to pull herself together for the day. 'I have lived with this pain in my heart for so long that I know how to hide it away. I'll be alright in a minute.'

Carl was concerned and felt helpless. Unable to suppress his concern he said gently, 'Cathy, you ok? We're here.'

She gave him a wan smile in response.

'I think that's Eric coming out the door.' He tried to remain professional but Cathy's hurt eyes tore at his heart.

'The women looked at the portico of the large white ranch style home, Eric, Senator Joe's efficient admin assistant was waiting for the women. He approached the vehicle and opened the door to allow them out. If he was shocked or surprised by Cathy's red rimmed eyes and tear stained face, he said nothing. She hugged him tightly and thanked him for taking the time to help Terry when it was clearly not in his job description.

'We always seem to be taking you away from your real job Eric.'

'My real job is to do what Senator Maxwell says. You know there is nothing he wouldn't do for your mother in law.'

'I know.' she mumbled into his shirt. ' You remember Terry of course?'

Eric moved forward to offer his welcome to Terry. He could never forget her. He remembered many of their conversations when she was caring for Catherine. Finally meeting her in New York cemented what they already knew about each other. He had not seen her for quite awhile.

'Motherhood agrees with you Terry.'

'And flattery will get you anything.'

The trio laughed and moved forward into the lovely home. The women were informed that Patrick was going to be detained until mid afternoon. Everyone at the ranch was instructed to provide all the help and support needed to ensure that Terry was comfortable with the arrangements.

Eric, Terry and Cathy sat together in a large downstairs room with a marble fireplace and beautiful white furniture. Over the mantel was a portrait of Gabrielle, Patrick's deceased wife. It was a totally feminine room and overlooked the back gardens. They were served a light lunch as Eric outlined his arrangements, listening and making notes when Terry had questions.

'I don't want to impose too much on Mr. DelCassian's hospitality.'

'Not to worry. Your immediate family members will be housed here and a smaller home on the property. There is room for 20 including you and your husband. We will put up about 10 upscale motor homes for other guests. Vincent and Catherine will be driving up in one. Jacob and Cathy will have one. Then there is a local hotel which will accommodate anyone who wants all the conveniences.'

'The rental cost of motorhomes is enormous.'

'Terry, you will have to try and forget about money.'

'Pretty hard to do! Jason and I are both salaried people. I would hope to spend most of the money on food.'

'You won't be spending money on anything. This wedding is a gift to you.'

'What?'

'A gift.'

For once in her exciting and full life, Terry was dumbfounded, rendered totally speechless.

She finally attempted to choke out a demurral. 'I don't expect...'

'None the less, that's the way it will be. Come on! Let's go look at where the tent will be set up.'

Too bemused to continue speaking, Terry allowed herself to be led outside. Eric offered his arm. It was clear that Terry was deeply moved by the generous gift. Through glass doors, they made their way to a large stone patio, down steps graded to for easy walking, past flower beds and water fountains to an area with a breathtaking view.

'We thought about putting the tent on the top of the hill.'

Terry stared out over the rolling hill seeing a vision which made her heart skip a beat. 'Is it possible to place the tent lower down?'

'We will have carts for the elderly to use, if that's your concern.'

'No, I didn't even think of that. I had something else in mind. My wedding will be a little different.'

'That doesn't surprise me. Let's walk up to the top of the hill and you can tell me everything I'll need to know.'

* * *

Cathy elected to stay behind. She wanted to sit alone and process all she had discussed with Terry. Unsure, after years of secrecy, why she would share her intimate thoughts with someone who was a relatively new to her, she felt anxious. She should be able to tell Jacob all about her life but was reluctant to do so. Cathy didn't hate her mother, she just hated the life they lived. In Florida, generally, their circumstances improved. Frederick came with a small amount of money. However, the extra cash flow did little more than contribute to daily living. Cathy wasn't any happier. They also lived with the stigma of HIV and AIDS and were ostracized from many communities. Most of the time, her mother was preoccupied with Frederick's care and left her alone.

Soon after their move south, Cathy realized that if she wanted to climb out of the morass of hurt and pain, she would have to get herself educated and take every opportunity to learn how to live differently. Despite the struggle, she pushed herself to absorb and retain her lessons even while she worked part time to save for college. The effort paid off. A scholarship based on exceptional scores, opened doors to university and a degree. Education got her away from the paralyzing fear of being strangled by life on the streets.

Relationships were avoided. After giving in, just once, to a short term relationship, which did nothing to enhance her sense of self, she abandoned intimacy altogether in favour of self imposed solitude. Jacob, with his ready smile, golden hair and blue eyes, changed everything. As she sat dreaming about the man who taught her so much, Cathy suddenly realized that Jacob would have known everything about her anyway.

She was jolted out of her reverie by the remembrance of their first time together. Jacob thought they were related, because he had sensed their early connection through her touch. How stupid to think that he wouldn't know everything already. _I am the one who hates my past. Jacob has seen it already and loves me anyway. For heaven's sake, why didn't I see that? I know that he can access visions of the past. I was worried about him reading my mind but what does it matter if I love him. I never have to explain anything to him. He lets me be who I am and supports everything I do. What more do I want? Why am I trying to hide an irrelevant past and let it poison my future?_

As if he did indeed know her thoughts, the cell phone, in her pocket, beeped, signifying a new message. Cathy knew by the ring tone that it was Jacob. He hadn't sent a message since the day Virgil held him at the jail. She pulled out the phone and felt immediately reassured.

"_Hope you have arrived safely. The distance between us is temporary. I can't tell you how grateful I am to know that you will be coming back to me. Don't ever doubt that my arms are empty without you in them."_

_Jacob has already healed the little girl inside me. Every time I see him pick up Cilla or Mea, I know that he will be a wonderful father. He loves those two children who are just what I am; the child of a prostitute. Why didn't I connect that before? Seems that it is my adult self which needs help._

Cathy got up and looked out a side window of the house. She smiled at the healing vista in numerous shades of green broken only by the deep blue of the lake hidden inside the incredibly beautiful property. In the distance, horses ran free in the paddocks. Tears flowed from her eyes but they were healing tears. She went outside to where Carl stood by the van. He looked up with a concerned but welcoming smile. Cathy walked down to where he stood and hugged the kindly man whose concern was palpable.

'Carl, thank you for your gentleness. I know that you heard everything I said. Some of it was not a surprise to you. You are so patient and kind. I just wanted you to know how much I appreciate those qualities in you.'

Carl was touched by her thoughtfulness. Not rejecting his worry meant a lot. He had every intention of changing his own attitude towards his daughter. Terry's story and Cathy's support showed him ways in which he could be a different kind of Dad.


	6. Chapter 6

By mid-afternoon, the absent host returned to his beautiful home, anxious to reassure himself that the bride to be was happy and satisfied with the arrangements. He was not disappointed. Terry rose gracefully from the chair, eyes shining. Patrick DelCassian moved forward to greet her. His naturally cultured demeanour was welcoming and not at all as intimidating as his station in life might indicate.

'Mr. Attorney General, I can't tell you ...'

'Here at home, I am Patrick,' he said extending both hands to add warmth to an engaging smile.

'Patrick, I am overwhelmed by your generosity and thank you for allowing Jason and me and our families to enjoy this absolutely lovely space.'

'I know it's common for people to say the pleasure is all mine, but I do mean it.'

'I can really sense that you do.'

Patrick turned and greeted everyone else with the same courtesy. The host called for some refreshments before sitting down in a comfortable arm chair. Everyone was invited to share their thoughts. He wanted a quick review of the progress so far. Patrick nodded politely throughtout, offering one or two suggestions where warranted. Clearly, he had established a comfortable relationship with Eric. They seemed to get along well. They all rose and moved to a larger but casual dining room when more food and drinks were served. There was much laughter around the table. All the participants engaged in some story telling or guidance, offering numerous ideas to the first time bride.

'Since I'm the only one here who has actually been a bride, I think I should have the final word,' announced Cathy, in hopes of settling a lively discussion focused on the all important moment when the bride makes her grand entrance. Terry added some weight to Cathy's self designated role but it was clear that she had her own ideas.

'I was very impressed at Cathy and Jacob's wedding. Their decision to use one particular artist, and weave her music throughout the ceremony stuck with me. Jason and I won't have that luxury. Our tastes are completely different. I have my songs and Jason has his, but we are respectful of each other's choices. The only thing I need to work out is how to meld the south and west into a service.'

More suggestions followed. Terry took them in and nodded wisely but everyone knew she would make her own selections. The remainder of the afternoon was very relaxing. Any lingering tension from the morning anxieties was dispelled. Terry knew she wanted to head back to town fairly early but Patrick indicated a desire to spend some time alone with his guest. She couldn't refuse his request and didn't want to. She had a curiosity about the man who was so generous and yet seemed withdrawn. Even taking into account his recent experiences Terry sensed a more controlled emotional dissonance simmering below the surface of his urbane manner.

'Let's go out to the paddock Terry. There's something I would like to show you before you go back. We'll walk, if you feel comfortable?'

Once again, Terry was offered an arm. She smiled at Eric and Cathy before heading out yet another door, past some well kept buildings, in the direction of the paddock where four horses were seen ambling about. Her semi casual khaki pants and fitted patterend blouse worn with comfortable low heeled shoes were perfect for walking longer distances over uneven terrain.

Half way down the tree lined laneway, a tall slim middle aged man, with darkened weather-beaten skin, bearing a slight resemblance to Patrick, approached them.

'Mi irmao, Dinarte. This is my brother Dinarte, Teresa.'

She extended her hand. The man seemed embarrassed to accept the offer but a nod from his brother encouraged the exchange. His perfect white teeth shone brightly against his deep olive skin. He was a handsome man.

'I didn't know about the existence of Dinarte until after my wife died. He is my Father's Brazilian child and in the way of intermingling families within the culture, he is also my wife's uncle. He has come to help me cope with the ranch. My wife used to take care of everything.' Patrick stopped to repeat the same sentence to his brother. Although the words were different from Spanish, Terry understood.

'There's no need to translate for me. If I don't understand, I'll let you know.'

'And here I was, hoping to show off my Brazilian.'

'I am sure you have no need to ever show off. I can't imagine that you are incapable of anything you set your mind to.'

'I may challenge you on that statement.'

'Jason will tell you that you have just entered the arena with the bull.'

'As long as I am wearing a matador's suit and waving the muleta!'

Terry nodded and chuckled. This man would make a delightful companion. His wit was sharp. There was no end to his skills. The pair moved further along the single lane driveway leading to the white fence which kept the horses confined. He asked Dinarte to bring an elegant black mare back to its stall.

Once the horse was confined Patrick walked over to the gate to nuzzle the horse's bobbing neck. It was a magnificent beast, long hind quarters, sleek lines, skin that shone blue black in the afternoon sun. Its glossy, groomed, tail waved with the precision and seduction of a long haired temptress.

'She's beautiful. I have never seen such a well proportioned horse up close.'

'She belonged to my wife.'

'Your wife? She must have been an outstanding equestrian. What's the mare's name?'

'Meia-noite'

'That doesn't surprise me.' Terry stuck out her palm as an offering and received a hot, wet, snort in return. The mare moved forward and nudged her hand then tried to gently push against her body.

"She knows I have a colt of my own and I am still breastfeeding. Horses are incredibly sensitive. Did you know human milk is very similar to mare's milk?'

'I didn't know about the milk but I do know about the character and sensitivity of horses. My family has been breeding them for generations. How do you know so much?'

'My Abuelita could... and actually did tame wild horses in Mexico. Then there's Jason, of course, who was raised on a ranch for five years and trained to ride professionally. They both taught me a lot.'

'I want him to ride this horse. She has been lost since my wife died. Only a knowledgeable equestrian will be able to mount her and ensure a safe, healthy run.' Patrick's voice was earnest, almost pleading.

'Why **my** husband, Patrick? Obviously there are others who could do the same right here.'

'Yes, perhaps but I sensed some quality in your husband which I could also identify in my wife. It is a masters level of skill combinged with deep sensitivity. My wife could almost have had a conversation with this animal. She hated leaving her, even to sleep.

'I am so terribly sorry for your loss Patrick. I know the circumstances were tragic. Did you have children of your own?'

'My wife was unable to conceive.'

The admission explained a perception Terry had when glancing at the portrait. She weighed her words carefully before responding. 'At one time, I thought I would never have children and yet, here I am, a new mother at nearly 40 years of age.'

'There would never have been children for us. My wife had no womb.'

'That's unfortunate. Sometimes our bodies betray us in ways we don't understand. These inconsistencies are a real challenge. I hope your marriage was a true partnership. I am realizing how important the friendship aspect is to our sense of well being.'

'Yes, we did have all those things. She was a delightful and caring woman. I admired her very much.' Patrick paused. He did not appear uncomfortable but a slight frown marred his normally smooth brow. Something was playing on his mind. 'Can I tell you something Terry?' He waited for the confirmation before continuing. 'Even if she had been able to conceive, I could not have given her a child. A back injury rendered me useless.'

'Surely not useless. You are a generous caring man. Had you both needed more, you would have found others to love. Not having children was unfortunate for both of you but fate brought you together for another special reason

'How do you know that?

'Because, I firmly believe in the power of fate to draw the right people together at the right time and I truly believe that fate and faith takes us to certain places in this life which will provide the opportunity to grow and learn. If you had a clear vision when you first saw your wife, you will know what I am talking about. Do you remember the moment you felll in love with her?'

'The instant I saw her on a horse. When I watched her ride, she was without equal. It was as if she and the animal were one. The raw potential of it generated feelings in me which I had never experienced. She was magnificent!'

Sounds like an auspicious combination of events. Another man might not have seen her beauty in that moment.'

'No wonder Catherine loves you.'

Patrick did not understand what prompted him to share his most terrible and private secret. There was, about Terry, an aura of comfort which invited confidences. As the two stood around the horse, rubbing its neck and talking easily, like old friends, he was unable to hold in the turmoil of the past and his sense of failure unique to this one area of his life. Terry could feel the love and hurt underlying what was, a tragic love story.

'Is your condition due to illness, injury or birth defect?' she asked gently knowing the cost of revealing such a secret.

'Injury! My back was broken in a car accident and the chord was only partially severed. It was Catherine who pulled me from the brink of a death induced by self pity. Because of her, I got back on my feet but I wore a brace for years, had limited mobility and endless pain.'

Terry digested the information. Catherine's name rose again like a spectre of miracles infusing yet another person with the ability to rise above adversity or remain steadfast in the pursuit of healing. Herself, Erin, Cathy, Vincent, Patrick. She was sure there would be more stories about the remarkable woman whose limited energy wove together so many people.

'When did this happen?' Terry probed softly, sensing a need for Patrick to talk.

'When I was just entering puberty.'

'My brother died after sustaining a similar injury but his paralysis was complete. When his fiancée realized that he would not walk again, her love became dispensable. She walked out on him and left him to die.' Terry kept the bitterness from her voice with great difficulty.

'Catherine would never do that. We weren't even boyfriend and girlfriend then. She was just like my little sister but she had enough determination for both of us.'

'I find it interesting that you should share this story. I remember that even in her weakened state she was able to work miracles for me. I did not do anything special to conceive. The only change in my life was Catherine and the miracle of her unending love for Vincent.'

Taking her hands in his, Patrick became very serious. 'Over the next few weeks, when you question why you have been given the best of everything we have to offer, know that it is because you have returned to us, the one person whose spirit weaves magic through our hearts.

When trouble hits us, there is a doorway through which we can always walk. If we turn the handle, the outcome on the other side is unknown. Our perception of what awaits us rarely fits the reality. What we do, the action we take, in that moment, on the threshold of surrender or hope, is what helps us to grow. Catherine has the ...the...ability to invoke the very best in us.'

'Patrick, those are some of the most beautiful words I have ever heard. What you have said, spontaneously, about another human being humbles me. You and my father will be entirely in sync. You have articulated something I could not even begin to formulate, much less say, but your philosophy touches me deeply.'

'It's quite a simple, _look before you leap _policy. Catherine reminds us to look.'

'Your brilliance is undiminished by simplicity.'

Laughing once again, they headed back to the house. 'You will try, please Terry, to find a way to include Gabrielle's horse in your wedding.'

'I already have. I felt an odd sensation of déjà vu when Eric took me out to the top of the hill on the other side of the house. It was a vision which came to me like a bold of lightening. Don't worry. Meia noite will be ridden again.'

'Wonderful. Now tell me all about your family and how they will arrive. I think that is the only matter left to settle.'

* * *

Looking back on the day, Cathy and Terry were both awed by the miracles in life which could bring together people from the four corners of a vast continent to participate in an unusual event. Carl dropped them off with a smile and hug for both women. It was early evening. Jacob was at the front door ready and willing to greet his wife. After exchanging a few words, they retired to their apartment. Terry was tired. She needed to pump her milk but mostly she wanted to spend time with Catherine. Fortunately Catherine was eager to review the events of the day.

'Terry, are you sure you don't want to lie down. You look so tired.'

'No Catherine I'd like tp pump and talk with you if you don't mind?'

'Mind? I am so interested in hearing about your day.'

If Terry needed anything at the end of a long emotional day, it was a bit of the mothering so absent from her life. She had no sense of dismay over role reversals between her and Catherine. The day out had given her a completely new persepective on the life of a woman who was little more than a shell when they first met. Terry understood that humans can and should serve many functions in the life of an individual.

'Are you missing Laddie a lot?' Catherine could sense what Terry was feeling.

'Yes, in ways I never thought possible and Jason too.' The two women, seated in Catherine's bedroom felt quite comfortable, as night and day's evening dance created a beautiful twilight. The soft rhythmic purr of the pump was hypnotic, reminding them of the muffled sounds associated with womb life.

'Catherine, did you know that Patrick or someone else has decided to pay for the wedding?'

'I didn't know, but Patrick probably decided on his own. He is a very generous and gracious man.'

'Providing the venue was enough. I am overwhelmed.'

'Don't be. He has extraordinary vision and a keen sense of what is right. If he didn't pay for it, I would have.'

Terry began to cry then. The events of the day suddenly seemed too much.

'I don't mind if you shed tears. My only wish for you is to have a happy perfect day. Terry, let these supports we offer you, make the celebration sweeter.'

'What I would like to do Catherine, is to talk about the plan from start to finish just to make sure everything is taken care of, in my mind anyway.'

For the next hour Terry ran through the wedding service, the reception and where and how her guests would be picked up, transported and housed. 'Does it make sense to you?' she asked tentatively when she finally ran out of breath.

'Terry, it does. It sounds beautiful but it doesn't matter what I think, only what makes you, and ultimately Jason, happiest.'

There was a descreet knock at the door. 'Catherine, the girls want to say goodnight.'

''Vincent, I am so sorry for keeping you from your room.'

'Terry, stay put. This will only take a minute.'

It was a bit longer than a minute. The girls were not used to someone else in the bedroom. They lingered to talk with Terry. Cilla was curious about the expressed milk. She pointed at the standing bottles then looked at Terry. 'Baby girl.'

'No I have a little boy. His name is Vladimir.'

'No little girl!'

Terry knew better than to argue with a child, especially one as sensitive as Cilla. She just smiled thinking that sisters understood girls better than boys. Mea was quiet, hugged her mother tightly before being led off to bed by Sue. Vincent remained behind to apologize again.

'Please don't say you're sorry again. I'd like you to stay, please Vincent.' Retracing his steps, Vincent returned to the bed and sat behind his wife. Terry was seated in the large comfy chair by the window. As he lowered himself onto the mattress, Catherine leaned back resting against her husband's body. For a moment in time, Terry stared at the tableau of husband and wife. Her time with them had always been busy, running around, first trying to get Catherine ready for her trip east then supporting Cathy through the wedding.

Her former patient was still a beautiful woman even well into her fifties. Her smile was beautific and angelic, belied by the sharp intgelligence seen in her eyes. Terry glanced at Vincent, not at all intimidated by his countenance. She remembered what Jacob had said to her when they first met. _'My father is not like other men.'_ Indeed, as Terry sat and stared at the striking couple, she realized that Vincent was in fact one hundred times better than any man she had ever known, other than Jason. There was an aura around the couple, which seemed to bind them together in their special love.

'I am so lucky to know both of you. Vincent I would like to experience your home. If i get up early, would you take me below for awhile?'

'I am at your service Terry.'

The events of the day finally took its toll. Terry made her way upstairs. Cathy and Jacob had already retired. After a quick call home to talk with her son and fiance, she fell into a dreamless sleep.


	7. Chapter 7

Doors7

Unusual sounds drove Jacob, sleepy headed, from the warmth of his bed. He walked quietly over to the window overlooking the park, expecting to see his parents making their way to the tunnels. It wasn't an unusual occurence. He was only mildly surprised to note that it was not his mother, but Terry, who held on to the arm of his father. Jacob wasn't puzzled. He knew their welcome guest had long wanted to experience that hidden place where his parents first found love. Part of him was disappointed that he could not be the one to show her, but who better than his father?

The sun was barely skimming threads of light above the horizon. In the early morning hours, there was an eerie feeling to the deserted park. New York City would soon be up and bustling. It was a time of morning Jacob enjoyed. He spent his childhood below, rarely seeing the sun come up. Of all his treasures discovered while living above, sunrise and twilight never failed to stir his senses.

Terry would be leaving on a noon flight to return to California. He longed to spend more time with her but it was not to be. He and Cathy had issues to resolve. Devoting time to his troubled wife would only bring lasting happiness for both of them. Terry would be back in New York soon enough for her wedding. He could talk with her then.

Jacob padded back to bed. climbing up slowly before sitting at the foot, as was his habit. If he rose early, before anyone else, it was his designated quiet time. He frequently used the empty space to recall dreams but more often than not, the young husband preferred to sit cross-legged, watching his wife. Since the kidnapping Jacob missed watching her wake with happy eyes, seeking his face in the semi darkness, hoping for some intimate moments.

The previous evening she had been excited. The day had gone well. She let him know that despite the elevated status of her host, she had held her own among the men. Patrick DelCassian was a much kinder man than Kurt Oats. Her former boss had not been kind or gentle when she first became his secretary. She learned to find her way with men in positions of power. The Attorney-General did not throw his weight around. He had been remarkably inclusive and considerate.

Jacob was happy to see the sparkle back in her eyes but it was more than just the successful day. She told him of a plan she had for Erin. Her plan was to discuss the idea first with Holly then everyone else. There was more simmering below the surface of her animation but Cathy had been reluctant to discuss anything further, begging him instead, to talk about his day.

As he sat watching her it was clear that the shimmering hues of her aura, which he could clearly see, had changed. Jacob remembered looking at Kardin, Holly's father during their violent and emotionally charged exchange at his office. He had seen the rents in the energetic fabric of his adversary which indicated a previous trauma. Jacob had used that vulnerability to overcome the sheer strength and powerful will of his opponent.

Cathy had a strange dark ring around a part of her neck which never seemed to fill in with colour. It always appeared as a shadowy space. Jacob used to identify the ring with Cathy's inability to speak her emotional mind freely. Seeing her lying there so peacefully, he realized the dark ring was gone. It was replaced by yellow green tones. Somewhere during the course of a few days, Cathy had healed her deepest hurt. Jacob wasn't sad that she didn't share her concerns with him. He could only feel happiness for her if she resolved the long standing pain of her childhood encounter with an unfeeling brute.

Jacob did have knowledge of the event. He had seen it all from their very first encounter, but said nothing. The story wasn't his to tell and if she had no recall of it, telling the story would only serve to traumatize her again. Since she didn't speak of it, the attack on her remained the one bridge which their love could not cross. He hoped that someday she could be open about it. Jacob knew he felt secure enough in their love to let the matter lay unspoken between them.

'Are you up for a reason Jacob?' Her soft voice broke the early morning spell which wrapped itself around him, much like his father's old cloak.

'Terry and Dad just went across the park.'

'Hmmm…. are you coming back to bed?'

'Suppose I just like sitting here staring at you?'

'Suppose I tell you how much I want you to come and lay beside me?'

'You win!'

Jacob uncoiled his body and stretched out next to his wife seeking the tips of her toes with his own. He drew her body closer, cradling her head in the crook of his arm. They were silent for awhile. Cathy knew that Jacob would want to make love to her. He often did in the early hours of the morning. She could preempt his desire by expressing her own but feared his distaste if she were to be assertive. Out of the bedroom she had no qualms about giving him an earful of grief if she thought he was careless with her feelings or anyone else's. But she hated being aggressive or even assertive in their intimate moments, fearing his disgust if he thought her too practiced or, if she were to admit the truth, too much like her mother. In any case, Jacob always knew her desires well before she could manifest any outward movement. She never held back from giving everything during their love making. She wouldn't ever deny him that part of herself, if he wanted her, even in this quiet moment. It seemed not, but he was also disinclined to talk.

She spoke into the void which held only their intermingled breaths.

'I wonder what Terry will think of our home.'

'She will be enchanted.'

Cathy chuckled at the complete certainty of the pronouncement. Jacob never said or did anything by half measures.

'You know Cathy, when you said our home; I was reminded that I only grew up in the tunnels. Remember I wasn't born there. Only you, my love.'

Cathy was silent, holding her breath, yet wanting to talk. 'Jacob?' She waited for his response. 'You know all the circumstances of me being born there don't you?'

'Yes, of course I do. We have talked about it so many times. Your connection to my mother and father almost got me thinking you were my sister, remember?'

'I know you are aware of so many things about me which I don't know myself, for sure.'

'That may be true but nothing matters to me except that you love me. I don't even know if the whys matter either.'

'Jacob you came to me untouched. I hate that I gave myself to someone else before you.' She blurted out the words almost unwilingly.

'But you didn't know me then,' he countered easily hoping to quell any rising distress.

'It doesn't matter to you?'

'I told you what matters Cathy and I meant it.'

'Can you see my life Jacob?'

His affirmative response came quickly. There was no need to lie or prevaricate. His wife would know immediately.

'If I ask you to tell me about it, would you?'

'I will tell you the truth of what I see. The energy which provides me with the interpretation will be unknown to me.'

'I want to know. I really do. I think I am ready but before you tell me about my mother I want to tell you about a time when I…when I..I…'

'Suppose I tell you that I saw that time. I know what he tried to do to you. I saw your mother fight for your life and how the event changed her.'

'Jacob he told me I made him do it. I didn't want to. I didn't want to.'

From deep inside he could feel her pain. Jacob understood her vulnerability and how she had been programmed to believe something so untrue.

'Cathy, my experience is not vast. I am young in this world. There are many things you have seen and done which are not known to me because I was raised in a protected environment. What I do know is that my childhood was safe because my father kept me safe. You had no one to protect you. Your mother's weakness to men made you vulnerable to the practiced art of childhood predators. Men and women who seduce children use many means to make a child believe that they were somehow complicit in the act. When I was in school this discussion was painful to me because of the children who came below. It touched my heart, just as you do in your innocence. He hurt you KitCAt. He is fully responsible. You were a child and hold no responsibility for his behaviour, no matter what he said.'

'Terry told me that too.'

'Believe it, no matter how many times you have to say it to yourself. I love you Cathy, as you are today. What you bring from the past is part of what makes you a whole person but it isn't you. I say this again, _what matters to me is simply that I love you_. Nothing more!'

Cathy squeezed her husband pulling him closer. His words were those of a man so much older and wiser than the youthful boy who smiled at her in that magical way on his first day at work. They endured so much together. He had grown with his experiences. She needed to do the same.

Cathy knew that she wanted to hear about her mother. The missing pieces of her life story continued to plague her dreams. The chronicle of Arden and Knut was a sad, but loving aspect of her inheritance from Frederick. She knew that Lena's story would not be any more uplifting. Despite telling Jacob she was ready, Cathy did not prompt him for words which could change her sense of self in a heartbeat. Instead she succumbed to the insistent but tender touch of his hand on her skin. The butterfly gentleness he used to calm and steady her was just what she needed to feel precious and cherished. Giving tacit consent, at last, to his unrelenting, quiet, seduction, she turned in his arms enjoying the beauty of anyone's offering of love, freely and joyously and without guilt, for the first time in her life.

* * *

'Vincent, this place is magical, mysterious and scary all at the same time. How is it possible that somewhere like this could really exist?'

'It just does! My father fashioned this community out of love and a desire for safety, drawing in those disadvantaged souls who could find no home above.'

'It is so hard to imagine that in this day and age, during a time of financial success and all the freedoms it brings... in a country as rich as this, why do people have to hide.'

'We don't all see it as hiding. For some of us, it is simply home, a place of love and warmth and sharing.'

'That's what you see isn't it?'

Motioning for Terry to sit down he joined her on the rocks by the waterfall. 'I would be lying if I said that I didn't feel all of those things but since Catherine has come back to me I confess to being happy everywhere she is. The things I used to fear, no longer haunt me. I can live life above or below. What and who I am only matters if Catherine is bothered by them. As long as she is at my side, all the fear I had... of exposure... is gone.'

'It must have been quite a journey for you to travel west if you had not been out of here before.'

Vincent's hearty laugh expressed some derisiveness at his unfounded fears of being above. 'I think Father was more worried about me than I was of myself. When I fell in love, the world became a different place.'

The pair sat for awhile, taking in the sight and sound of the water trickling over the rocks, the cool and damp ambience permeating the air. Vincent did not seem inclined to linger.

'Let's go Terry. I want to show you the nursery and take you to my father if he is up.'

They made their way along narrow passages. Vincent who was quite sure footed, offered assistance to Terry when she faltered. Negotiating the slippery and sometimes narrow walkways was a challenge to those unused to life below. They made their way to the nursery where squalling babies could be heard. Celeste came forward immediately.

'Vincent Wells…you have brought a friend.' A rare smile lit her face.

'This is Terry…Theresa who helped Catherine. She has also provided some milk for the babies.'

'Thank you Terry Theresa. Your milk is good. You have helped my little Boduna recover. She was very sickly.'

'May I see her Celeste?'

Terry stared down into the face of a little olive skinned girl. It was hard to tell, in the shadowy light, if she was jaundiced or not but there were dark circles beneath the wide frightened eyes.

'Oh poor little one. Where is your mother? You are so sad looking. Would you smile a little for me?' Terry touched the little face and stroked a hand reaching out to her. The infant responded to the soft voice with a little whimper. It tore at Terry's heart. She remembered how Cilla had said baby girl. This was the child who was able to get milk.

'Tell me about her Celeste.'

' 's hard to know anything Terry Theresa. Her mother is a woman of the streets. She is drug addicted like many of our babies born to those mothers. They cry for the drugs just like their mothers. There is no way to soothe, except with love.'

Tears filled Terry's eyes. 'My God, how little we realize what our actions do but I understand that the addict is just as helpless as this little baby.'

Terry went from child to child. She wished for a bag full of medical supplies and equipment to help them but she too was helpless to do anything except offer a few words of comfort. She could have picked up each one and hugged them, hoping to infuse a little more life into their frail bodies but Vincent advised against it. 'You are going home to a small child and getting married. These babies have been exposed to illnesses, we don't know about. Some may be contagious. Another time Terry, when you are better prepared.'

'You are right of course but I will not forget this.'

They moved on through the tunnels towards father's chambers. A short burly figure came barreling down in front of them. He had bright blue eyes and wispy grayish blonde hair flying in all directions.

'Vincent, please tell me this is mouse.'

'It is indeed. Mouse, this is Terry who brought Catherine back to us.'

'Hmmm….ok good, ok fine. Good person Miss Terry.'

The young middle aged man was shocked to find himself in a great bear hug. 'Thank you for being who you are mouse. Thanks to you and your special ways, I was able to help Catherine find her way back to life.'

'Me…thank you….I like Catherine. Glad to have her home. Vincent happy. Mouse happy…ok good….ok fine.'

'Oh Vincent there are miracles in this life. Mouse is one of them. I can see why he was totally unforgettable.'

They spent a few more minutes trying to get more out of the extroverted and excitable man but his happiness seemed to overflow causing him to ramble on. Vincent soon put a halt to the words in a firm and kindly way by promising to bring Terry back for another visit.

'Soon, soon Miss Terry' he replied, hands waving a protracted and friendly goodbye.

'This is like full circle Vincent.'

Terry's visit with Father and Mary was less complicated. They were a delightful elderly couple who seemed to accept that their roles in the tunnel community were mostly respectful. It was clear that neither of them was able to do much. Father was exceedingly grateful to Terry for returning Catherine to his son. She had spoken with him briefly at the wedding of Jacob and Cathy but there had been little chance for extended conversation. Before they parted company, Terry asked to speak with Mary privately while Vincent helped his father up.

'Mary, I understand that you were present when Cathy was born. Do you remember anything of her birth or her mother?'

'Not much, although I do remember them. Her mother was beautiful, lovely blonde hair. She was little more than a child herself, very troubled. She seemed to have no one in the world who cared about her until Catherine found her and brought her below. Why do you ask?'

'Cathy is dear to me. She is like a little sister. I so admire her work and what she is doing. If there is anything I can do to help her be happier and stronger, I will. Her childhood holds her back.'

'Yes her mother had no life and left us too early but I see her now quite grown up. Jacob will help her find her way.'

'Yes I expect that he will.'

Mary's confidence in Jacob seemed unshakeable. No doubt she raised him too. Terry felt heartened by knowing the woman behind the powerful men of the tunnels. She suspected that Mary had a strength of her own which she wielded when necessary. The women smiled into each other's eyes before sharing a warm hug.

'Come back soon.'

'I will Mary. I am sorry you and father will not be able to make it to the wedding but my thoughts will be with you.'

'And ours with you.'

Reluctantly, Terry and Vincent traversed the park leading back to the brownstone. She was deep in thought. The visit below had been a revelation. Whatever thoughts she harboured were buried immediately. The wedding was at the top of her priority list. After that, she would think about the tunnel community and what could be done to help those poor babies.

Before they entered the house she turned and raised on tip toe to kiss her host gently on the cheek. 'Thank you for taking me there Vincent. I am deeply moved by your home and your kind of large family. I hope to be considered a helper some day.'

Vincent smiled broadly in response. Her willingness to help wasn't unusual. Terry had been changed by her encounters with the tunnel community. He didn't know if he could fully understand what measure of creative energy existed below, but as he pushed open the door to his home he wondered about the unending series of miracles which happened in small ways every day. There was no time to ponder more. Terry had a flight to catch!


	8. Chapter 8

Both Catherine and Vincent observed a marked change in Cathy. She had always been a kind and loving daughter in law. Her caring personality was clear in every action. She always tried, in every way, to make life comfortable for the entire family. Neither could anyone even question her commitment to the work and needs of the Sanctuary.

To add to her already busy schedule, she took on the task of ensuring that all Terry's incoming family would be met, housed and made to feel welcome. As Terry said, _'there will only be three airplanes in the sky which matter: those carrying my husband, son and friends, the one with my father and his family and the one with my relatives from Spain. Thank goodness they are traveling together in groups!'_

Cathy's offer to coordinate the airport pick-ups was welcomed with a huge sigh of relief. Terry and Jason would return to New York together but they would part company at the terminal. He and his friends would travel on to Saugerties where he would meet up with his family. Terry would come to the Brownstone and travel up with Catherine and Vincent in the motor home.

Cathy enlisted Carl's older daughter, Susana, to be a designated interpreter for the family arriving from Spain. It provided an opportunity to practice her already impeccable Spanish. She would use the role to show her father that she was capable and competent. Having learned his lesson about compromise, Carl took a cautious fatherly step back and allowed his daughter to shine. Susana made contact with the Zamora family abroad ensuring that everyone had the proper documentation to enter the country. Cathy, along with her new 'assistant' detailed the plans for the incoming guests so that they understood where to wait, once through customs, who would pick them up and how they would be transported.

Susana synchronized and documented all her actions before reporting her finalized outline to Cathy. She seemed fully prepared. Since the plans included Carl's participation, it was the perfect opportunity for father and daughter to work together.

Terry also confided to Cathy, via email, that she was not expecting a wedding dress to be ready. While she appreciated Erin's input, the circumstances, the living conditions, and the old fashioned machine did not inspire confidence. She was prepared to wear her original dress if Erin failed to complete her vision of a wedding gown. Cathy couldn't and didn't offer any reassurances. Only Erin would know if the task she set herself was too much. Regardless of the outcome with the dress, Cathy was determined to put another plan into action. It simmered in her mind for days before she was satisfied with her proposal.

Despite the intensity of preparation in the last two weeks Cathy's proposal included a get-together with Holly. The meeting was essential for putting her plan in motion. The two women met at their favourite restaurant. Cilla was not spending the day with Holly and Brian but Cathy brought her along. She seemed to enjoy the role of intermediary while the women talked. Somehow the little girl occasionally came up with a word or two which would drop unannounced into the middle of a discussion. The fact that it was usually quite profound was based strictly on the source. Cilla could be a child and grown up all at the same time. What Cathy had in mind would have an effect on the direction of the lives of the two small girls as well as Erin. If Cilla had any thoughts, Cathy wanted them out in the open early. They ordered salads and sipped on ice cold ginger and lemon tea while they waited for the food. Talk came easily between the two women.

'How are you coping with the wedding plans? Seems like you have an event of some kind every few months.'

'Yes it does, but I love planning and organizing. If I understand what people need, I can help.'

'You're certainly good at that. You kind of fell into the centre of my wedding and I can't tell you how much I appreciate what you did, in spite of your feelings.'

'You thanked me already Holly. I just want you to be happy.'

'I am. So, what's on your mind?'

'Your mother-in-law!'

'What now?'

'Does the tone of your question have some particular meaning?'

'I am trying to establish a relationship with her. She's resistant to everything I propose. I want her to come above and be a part of the family and she opposes me at every turn. Look at what we have to offer. Why doesn't she feel comfortable making the change?'

'Moving from abject poverty to luxury is a hard transition and she has trust issues. What is important to her is being useful and productive. If you attempt to make her dependant on you, she will lose her self respect.'

'Seriously? We just want to get to know her. I mean she's been out of Brian's life since he was a child.'

'I'm sure she knows that Holly. But she is not as emotionally flexible as you are. Be patient.'

'So what am I supposed to do…just sit and wait for her to come around?'

'No, make her an offer she can't refuse.'

Holly laughed at Cathy's mimicry of the stereotypical mobster line. It helped to diffuse some of the tension that was quickly rising out of Holly's frustration.

'I guess I am feeling a little disappointment and venting it. I never had a mother.'

'I didn't know Holly. I never wanted to ask.'

'It's Ok. She died when I was born.'

Holly's tone was flat, as if the story of her mother's death was somehow relegated to an unknown place of equal unimportance. Cathy didn't feel inclined to probe. She had her own family history to resolve. She nodded instead, fussed with Cilla for a bit then attempted to present her plan to Holly again.

'Holly, there is one way to bring Erin a little closer to you and to make her feel useful at the same time.'

'Go on…I'm listening.'

'Erin's pride and joy is tied up in sewing. She makes beautiful clothes. Even with the small out dated machine, she is able to fashion dresses which are quite remarkable. Her hands move like lightening with a needle and thread. She told me last week that she would make Terry's wedding dress.'

'What! Are you serious?'

'I've seen Erin sew. She's a moving miracle. But…..she also mentioned that she would get some girls to help her. "_They've shown an interest"_ she said. What I would like to ask is if you had some space above which she could use with a view to developing it as a mini factory? We could set up a couple of industrial machines in a reasonably sized space and see where she would take it.'

Holly looked thoughtful. She did not reject the idea immediately.

'Do you really think she would be interested? It would help us legitimize some of the plant space we have. In fact, the very warehouse where Jacob went after my father is quite perfect for what you have in mind.'

Cathy could see Holly was thinking seriously about the potential of renovating unused space and making it available for a viable and legitimate business. Introducing the idea to Erin might be a challenge but Cathy felt that it could wean her from living below and allow the family to start fresh.

Satisfied that she had made her point, Cathy left Holly to ponder the possibilities. She tried but failed to finish the salad whose crisp green leaves had wilted in the creamy dressing and looked totally uninviting. She pushed away the plate even as her mind was ticking over the next task on her list. The women parted company amicably. Holly agreed to discuss the opportunity with Brian, before committing herself to anything further.

* * *

'Cathy, where are you finding the energy to keep up?'

'I don't know Mom. I am excited by the wedding, by progress, by the changes I see everywhere, including those in me. I hope I am not being too pushy.'

'Of course not! You're very efficient. I can see that the burdens you've carried for so long have been lifted from your shoulders.'

'Not completely Mom. I have a few more things to work through but it gets easier each day. I can't tell you what a wonderful help and support Jacob has been.'

Cathy and Catherine sat together in the living room, late in the afternoon the following day after her visit with Holly. Mea had fallen asleep in her mother's arms, her head of tousled curls, fanned out to create a small halo. The two women shared as much as possible about the events taking place. Catherine was excited about the coming trip. The opportunity to travel north, feeling as well as she ever did, with her husband, was creating excitement within her. There were times when she found it hard to contain herself. Weeks after sadness and depression permeated each and every corner of the house, it seemed that the family was finally recovered. Terry's wedding was having an exciting effect on the atmosphere. Cathy appeared to blossom the most. Catherine observed her daughter in law carefully. The sparkling eyes and healthy glow were new landmarks for the young woman.

Catherine belatedly nodded in response to the compliment. Her son had wrought a miracle with the capable, emotionally withdrawn, and often tentative woman who had fallen in love with him. The change wasn't entirely due to Jacob's love. Her environment, the connections to her tunnel family and the rewarding work all served to enhance her confidence. Catherine gave voice to her thoughts.

'Give yourself credit too Cathy. We can all improve under the nurturing of someone else, but in the end we have to help ourselves as well.'

'I know Mom. I just used to think I was doing so well before I met Jacob. Little did I know! Each day I learn more and more about how much his love has meant to me. There is one thing more that we are still working on.' Cathy paused and Catherine held her breath hoping.

'You and I have talked about my mother so often. I am still feeling sad that I can't bring her energy to mind or learn more about her through my dreams. Maybe I am still not ready. Jacob could put me out of my misery in a heartbeat and yet I am still shy about hearing it from him. It's like I have to experience it myself to make it real.'

Catherine blinked but said little. Conversations about Lena didn't always end well. She hated to see the sparkle disappear and hoped they would not rehash the story. Cathy carried on, serious as she presented her case, but not with the kind of anguish she normally displayed.

'Is there anything at all that you haven't told me, any clue to her background or where she came from?'

'Cathy, I don't think there's anything else.' She saw the look of disappointment. 'Vincent may be able to tell you more.'

'I don't think so. He's tried but Dad says that he was very caught up in grief. He admits that he saw very little except for Jacob during those years.'

Catherine occasionally forgot the gap of years between her experience and Vincent's lived life. For her, seeing Lena was a more recent event in her mind. Over twenty years had passed for Vincent. Realizing that she was the last hope, Catherine played around in her mind trying to conjure up impressions of her very first encounter with Lena.

'To be honest Cathy the only thing that may have struck me was the way she said her name. Most people use the long e sound, but she didn't. I wondered if she was really Helena like the Spanish. I didn't ask her. She seemed very reluctant to discuss or share anything about her background.'

'Thanks Mom. I'll keep that in mind.' Cathy stood up and kissed her mother-in-law, hoping in turn that she had not been distressed by the questions. She also kissed the top of Mea's head before leaving the room.

Cilla never seemed to mind her time away with Holly, Brian and Erin. She had a depth of knowledge beyond her years but Mea clung to her adopted mother. The transition to another household was very troubling to the little girl. Catherine didn't push her 'baby' to go if she cried. Seeing the two together, the little head nestled comfortably against her mother, Cathy felt a pang. Loss and separation were so hard on children. Shaking her head she climbed the stairs hoping to get a light meal ready for her hard working husband.

* * *

'You look pretty cheerful today. It is me or something else?'

'You'd love for me to be sitting here waiting for you to come home and light up my life wouldn't you?'

Jacob hesitated sensing a trap no matter what he said. 'What's for dinner?'

'Chicken!' The reply had nothing to do with food.

'Cathy those questions aren't meant to be answered.' The look in his wife's eyes deserved an homage and he quickly kissed her to avoid any further discussion.

'Pretty good answer.'

Laughing, the pair made their way into the kitchen, to sit down to a simple meal and conversation. Cathy updated her husband on the success of her day.'

'I'm glad that you didn't do too much today. You have taken on a lot. I know you're capable but there is still the wedding to get through. Look at how tired we were after our own party.'

'I know. I just love doing all this. There won't be any more for awhile unless I can find a wife for Kurt.'

'He's had his share already!'

'That's definitely mean. Is he coming?'

'Yes. You will have to keep him away from my mother. I think my Dad's patience is wearing thin.'

'Jacob, he wouldn't really consider….?'

'He'd be a fool but right now he's a fool anyway. What is it about my mother that draws men to her like magnets?'

'She's beautiful.'

The conversation got off on another tangent and Cathy's original desire to discuss her mother faded. Both agreed on an early night. Cathy fell asleep almost immediately. Her body's response belied her claims of abundant energy.

* * *

Content with her day and evening activities, Cathy settled down to sleep, secure and comforted by her husband's arm resting lightly across her body. She felt herself drifting into sleep, rocked by the muscles of her chest expanding and contracting with ease. She was vaguely aware of how tense her breathing had been for so long. She knew that since her relationship with Jacob, much of the stress which normally permeated her body, had dissipated. Each event which challenged her emotionally drained the ease and brought back the dis-ease. Cathy noted that the discomfort never returned with the same intensity she used to feel. _'One step back occasionally and two steps forward really is the truth of life_' she thought. '_Each step back never feels like the same journey.' _With that final profound thought, she let her body move into the realm of dream.

_Bright sunshine flickered off a myriad of colours. Everywhere there were shades of gold and red moving and melding. People swayed on the periphery of the mass of stirring colour, swirling and twirling to the beat of an unseen drum. Even as the images were coming into focus, the scene changed its hue into a dull brown covering over the colourful scene like a rolled down canvas blocking out the light._

_Cathy turned over trying to see, in her minds eye, beyond the drape of brown back to the gypsy like frenzy but she could not. She had a sense of love and happiness but the answers were blocked by the muddied splash of oneness. Her body drifted off into beckoning distance, seeking the deeper sleep. _

_Much later in the night, she arose slightly from a bottomless platform to the dream filled state again, sensing rather than seeing fields of green. She had seen this before. Was it a new vision of Arden and Knut? No, there was a feeling of life being lived in present time. The sun rose in the distance of her nocturnal vision, lighting nothing but emptiness. She felt a vague disquiet as if something had been found then lost. Sadness welled up inside._

_An unhappy stoney, face ,its expression unclear turned to her, blocking the light. Restless running feet moved away. She sensed the loss of forever. Images chased themselves helter skelter to the reaches of her imagination. Each reflection was punctuated with tears and laughter, a rhythmic beat guiding its way. It took a long time for Cathy to recognize that the beat heard was her own heart, calling out for answers._

Cathy woke up from her dream filled sleep, not with foreboding, as was usually the case, but with a sense of comfort. She had no doubt that it was her ancestors who sent messages through the dream state. Jacob's input during the early weeks of their marriage had set the stage for her acceptance of another dimension in which the past, present and future could be divined. Cathy longed to talk with him, in detail, about her experience. She knew he would be willing and able to help her relate the images to events.

Unfortunately, they both slept so soundly, it was well after the alarm before they realized that the time had passed for any early morning discussion. She jumped up quickly, making a light breakfast for him while he showered. A mental review of her body didn't reveal any discomfort or tension. Even as she poured tea into a cup, Cathy decided to keep the colourful events of the dream to herself for a few days. If the images presented themselves to her again, she would discuss it with Jacob. For the present she was happy not to feel depressed. There were still many tasks and busy days ahead.

Jacob who was able to intuit the sense of peace surrounding his wife, kissed her cheek, swallowed the hastily prepared food and gulped down the tea before hurrying out the door.


	9. Chapter 9

The strange dream became a frequent night visitor in Cathy's life. The visions were neither clear nor were they strangely troublesome. The scenes existed subconsciously, as a new part of her life, with the understanding that someday they would help to connect her with the past. Cathy chose not to delve into detailed meanings. She was content to allow her own sense of self awareness to accept and interpret clues as they presented themselves. She was vigilant without exhibiting the social paranoia of her childhood. Tentative discussions with Jacob informed her that dreams often presaged knowledge or awareness. Beyond those few reassuring words, her husband was content not to take away her ability to experience the joy of discovery.

Cathy wondered what she would gain from identifying the swirling colours. Curiosity about dancing, as an interpretation of the movement, filtered through her mind. She loved to dance, had no idea where the desire or skill originated. What she knew of her mother did not fit with a musical background. Lena rarely sang more than one or two special tunes, hardly ever danced with wild abandon or truly enjoyed a moment of delight at a concert or show. Only a singular 1960's melody could lift her melancholia from time to time. Frederick, her biological father, added nothing of note to the gene pool, except his own brand of depression which never seemed to lift from his life.

During an earlier conversation with her mother-in-law, Catherine described an area of town where she had gone to find Lena after her first disappearance from the tunnel. Cathy walked those streets many times, as well as the location of the house where they lived, before moving to Florida. She saw only the familiar hollowness and struggle for survival, clearly evident in the dingy row houses and rundown buildings. Nothing connected with the liveliness of her vibrant dreams.

Giving up on the idea of a miraculous revelation, she focused her attention instead on the fast approaching wedding and the arrival of the families. Whatever inner turmoil lay at the heart of her search, she set it aside and first welcomed, with very few hitches, Terry's family, from Spain. Susana and Carl did an outstanding job, collecting and transporting the aunts, uncles and cousins from the airport to Patrick's estate in Saugerties. The Puerto Rican man was delighted to listen to his birth language spoken by someone from the land of his ancestors. Carl was able to include a mini tour of New York City's finest most famous monuments and sights, for the delighted visitors. Father and daughter remained in Saugerties overnight providing interpretation and helping the Zamora clan to settle in while waiting for the rest of the wedding party to arrive. Once he felt secure that his daughter could manage alone, Carl returned to New York, collecting the steady stream of friends or family who needed a ride.

* * *

Rob, who had taken time off to recover after the kidnapping, returned to the family ready and willing to engage in some lighthearted work. He had been badly shaken by the hostage taking episode in the tunnel. Post traumatic stress had been a part of his life for years. Ever since his army days when he drove tanks into mine fields in Iraq and Afghanistan, he endured troubling periods of time when memories returned to haunt him. Rob usually kept his own counsel, rarely discussing the inner turmoil. Jacob, sensing his anguish, encouraged the faithful veteran to take a mini vacation and seek help. At the time, a warm hug allowed Jacob to transfer some positive energy into Rob's body but Jacob was also down on his own resources and could not be of much help. When Rob returned to work the two men spent time together and Jacob completed his extraordinary ability to do neural realignment, dispensing with the possibility of a recurrence ever again.

'You put your life on the line for Cathy and me, Rob. It's the least I can do,' Jacob had said in response to the heartfelt thanks.

If Rob had any doubts about his ability to function or question his role in America's wars, he was completely disarmed by the band of men who comprised Jason's wedding party. In addition to little Vladimir, Jason, his father and step father, were accompanied by a group of special services police officers who worked within the DEA in Los Angeles. Jason was their commander on the job and friend in off hours. Lines were never blurred during working hours. Jason was admired and respected by his team. Those officers who could take time off, willingly made the trip to be groomsmen for their boss.

Jason shared the story of the kidnapping incident with his buddies. He spared no details about everyone else's heroism during the tunnel escapade while maintaining confidentiality about site. The men, after hearing about the bravery, welcomed Rob as one of them, curious about his transition from active duty to a civilian lifestyle which still offered challenges. The conversation was lively and respectful, boosting the ego of the soft spoken, caring man.

Rob carefully steered the large bus through Manhattan streets before dropping off Terry at the Brownstone. He headed north with his all male cargo, smiling at Terry's admonition to take care of her men. The vehicle was filled with rousing camaraderie, numerous stories and raucous laughter all the way to the ranch.

Rob would spend the night there before returning home in another bus the following day to collect the bride, Cathy, Jacob, Catherine, and Vincent and anyone else. In the meantime, Carl had returned one final time to escort Terry's Mexican family who arrived en mass via Southern California. With them was Marian, the head of the agency which provided both Terry and Sue's services to Catherine. She wanted to stay at the Brownstone and travel with the family. It was quite a magnificent reunion!

* * *

Marian was as excited as a girl by the turn of events which brought her to New York. In a world of couples, she remained unmarried, devoting her time and energy to creating an agency which promised and delivered excellent service. Adding Terry to the role of director in charge of patient care was a sound move which elevated the status of her work force immensely. The staff responded to the call to improve their skills, first with anger and resentment then with pride as Terry, leading by example, showed that attention to patient detail can work miracles. The story of Catherine's remarkable recovery was often used as an incentive. The painstaking details worked effectively to change stubborn minds. Those who didn't change were let go. Marian was edgy, forceful and often verbally inappropriate, but she managed her self-made business as well as any CEO. If there was any soft spot, Catherine's warm welcome found it and melted the heart, if only temporarily.

'I can't believe it's you Gina. You're like a living miracle.'

'Marian, try and remember, she's **Catherine** now.'

'I keep forgetting, Terry. When you talk about her back home, it doesn't seem like the same person and yet now that I see you…Catherine, ..I'm sorry,…. really you don't even look the same.' The hostess, herself overcome with emotion, halted the stumbling words with a hug of welcome.

'What I remember most about you Marian is your extraordinary hair.' Catherine mused, looking at its soft yellow waves, pulled back in a tight chignon. 'I think there was one day, before I could really speak well... you came to the house and it seemed so different. Something about the style and colour reminded me of Vincent but I couldn't quite say what I wanted. Really, I just hoped someone could make sense of my nonsense.'

'That someone was Terry. I have never met anyone like her for pushing the envelope.'

'I sure do agree with you Marian,' Sue chimed in. She had never stopped feeling guilty for her failure to see beyond 'Gina's' semi comatose state to the possibility of recovery.

'We all played a part in the recovery, including Catherine. Without her willingness to undergo the rigorous schedule I laid out, none of this would be possible,' Terry demurred wanting to avoid fanning the flames of guilt in anyone.

'I guess we're an extraordinary group of women!' Catherine added, knowing that it was indeed a group effort.

Everyone nodded and seconded the notion that ordinary women could achieve amazing results when they worked together. The consensus of opinion set the tone for the afternoon, allowing everyone to relax and support the bride to be. Despite last minute hitches, the atmosphere at the Brownstone was a respite from the previous weeks of the energetic rush of planning. Everyone needed to catch up on the events which would culminate in the wedding festivities soon to take place. There was lively conversation in every room in the house where the mostly middle aged group of women, talked like young girls about makeup, dresses, music, fun and numerous related topics. The men were clearly expendable. Vincent and Jacob steered clear of the excitement.

Forgotten in the activities was Erin and the extraordinary offer of a handmade dress for the bride. The party of women had just moved into the kitchen for a late meal when the front doorbell broke through the chatter. Vincent elected to answer it. To his astonishment, Erin stood at the door, a long plastic bag resting over her arm. She was accompanied by Holly.

'We have a delivery for the bride,' Holly sang out in her melodious voice.

'Come in, come in. I have been banished to the basement or backyard, but Catherine and Terry are in the kitchen.'

Everyone there turned to look down the hall at the women approaching. Erin had on her tunnel clothes and looked quite medieval. In absolute contrast, Holly wore jeans and a casual blouse, her usual dark wig covering the golden hair.

Terry stared at Erin with a curious look. She had not believed that a dress could be designed and stitched together in such a short time, although she gave Erin the benefit of doubt. Terry was willing to wear almost anything half decent but drew the line at taking her vows in something which neither looked appropriate nor fit well. Nothing about the dressmaker's demeanour invited confidence and Cathy had not been reassuring but, she smiled and waited for Erin to speak.

'Do ya want me to show it here or somewheres private?'

'Here please Erin.' Terry was suddenly nervous. She didn't want only her opinion to count.

The dress, resting on a hanger and wrapped in a non transparent garment carrier was hooked on to the knob of a cabinet door in the kitchen. The plastic rustled softly as Erin smooth out any creases before tugging on zipper. Everyone was quiet, attention focused on the slow downward slide of her hand. There was an anticipatory silence in the room as the descent reached the last tooth in the garment bag. It was gently opened to reveal a mass of white fluff which seemed to spill out of its confines. Everyone gasped in astonishment, but no one said anything, waiting, first of all, for a response from the bride.

Terry could not believe her eyes. Silence continued to fill the room as Erin slid the plastic bag off the shoulders and allowed it to fall away. The dress was a vision of perfection.

'Oh My God! ….Please forgive my blasphemy. I am….. Erin, how on earth did you do this?' Terry's question was rhetorical. It was obvious that a lot of time and talent had gone into the creation. Terry's eyes filled with tears and she hugged the woman clinging to her thinness. The sobs were real and came from the heart. No one was able to withstand a hug from Terry. Almost without thought, Erin's thin arms wrapped themselves around the sobbing woman. When Terry was able, she turned to look, once again, at the magnificent creation.

'Erin, you have captured both my heritage and my mother in one dress. It is almost a replica of my mother's wedding dress. She must be crying in heaven, thanking you with all her heart. I know I am. How can I ever thank you?'

'Wear it with a happy heart.'

After many compliments from the others, Erin insisted on a final fitting. Terry asked Catherine to share the moment. Everyone else stayed behind in the kitchen. Holly moved over to Cathy's side, pride in her face.

'She really outdid herself Holly.'

'I know. I had to help her out a little. She wanted it to be perfect.'

'Yeah, It sure is.'

'Listen Cathy, I am sorry if I seemed a little off hand the other day. When Erin made my dress it was pretty simple. I didn't think she could do this kind of intricate work and be successful. I owe you and her, an apology.'

'Not me. You were right to be skeptical. Who would believe that she was capable of this? She's made things for me and even I couldn't imagine this kind of …well, ... seeing is believing.' Cathy threw up her hands, at a loss for words.

'I am going to go ahead with the plan we discussed, Cathy. Let's get together and talk about it next week. I have a few other thoughts to share with you and…..the good news… that I'm pregnant.'

'Oh Holly. That's great news. I'm happy for you.' There was clear sincerity in the hazel eyes. Cathy meant what she said. She had lots of chances to observe Holly with Cilla and Mea. The young woman would make a good mother.'

The news deserved a hug. Holly, normally undemonstrative, held on to Cathy quite tightly.

'Are you ok Cathy?'

'Yes, sure. I've had some dreams lately but ….. why are you asking? Do you see something?'

'No. I just had a moment of awareness, a feeling that you were complete. Does that make sense to you?'

'I'm happier now and I feel more lighthearted than I did last month, if that's what you mean?'

'Yes. Maybe that's it. I haven't really hugged you since your recovery from the craziness in the tunnel.' Holly stepped back, a smile on her face. 'We'll get together soon. There's a lot to do.'

They went on to speak about a few other things, including the wish to have Cilla and Mea stay in Manhattan instead of going to Saugerties.

'It isn't that Erin wants to usurp Catherine in anyway. It would give Vincent and Catherine a chance to share some time alone. I know Mea is very attached to her but we will do our best to make her happy. I don't think Cilla will mind so much.'

'I'll let Mom know. I am sure she'll be fine with leaving them.'

* * *

'Erin, you have amazing talent. I have never been a bride before but this has to be the most beautiful dress I have ever seen.'

Erin acknowledged the compliment with a grunt. Her mouth was full of pins. The highly emotionally Hispanic woman had drawn unwilling tears from her eyes. She didn't want to cry. In her mind was the thought of two daughters, motherless in the world, one dead too soon. Who made their wedding dresses? Did they ever wear one?

'The bust is a little tight. I thought I had that measurement perfect.'

'I had just pumped my milk out when I came to you the first time. Right now, I'm full. It will be fine.'

Erin grunted again. She stood back and surveyed her work. The tears she had been struggling to hold back fell, unheeded. Catherine moved to her side and took the trembling hand.

'Are you thinking about your girls?'

A nod confirmed that the passage of time could not always lessen grief.

'My girls were taken from me. You are so much like my youngest. She was dark, a stormy creature destined to be trouble for somebody. She will be a fighter wherever she is.' Erin intoned the words and held on to the thought that at least one of her girls would do well. She found a smile for the beautiful woman in front of her. 'How are you wearing your hair?'

'In this dress? Flamenco style!'

'There's a matching flower in the bottom of the bag.'

'Is there anything you haven't thought of?'

'I hope not! I want your day to be perfect.'

Unasked, Terry moved forward and hugged Erin again. 'Forgive me for holding you like this. I sense that it is hard for you to accept this kind of thanks.' Terry released her hold but kept strong hands on the shoulders and stared directly into the misty pale eyes. 'I will wear this dress with pride, conscious of your loss and mine. For one moment on my wedding day, when everyone looks at me for the first time, I will be your daughter and you will be my mother.'

* * *

Not a single soul in the house, except for Vincent seemed to want to retire early. Excitement pushed sleep away and drew everyone in the house together, then apart for more intimate conversations, then back together again for snacks and drinks. Vincent, unused to the wholly adult feminine tenor of the house finally called a halt to the festivities. His wife was drooping, Terry looked frazzled and Cathy, who had been extremely busy the previous two weeks was ready to drop. Even Holly and Erin, who had stayed on for awhile, finally left.

'I think we all want to get an early start. I have no doubt that tomorrow will not be any more restful. We should get some sleep.'

Murmurs of assent followed the very practical announcement. Terry and Marian headed upstairs to share a room and everyone else settled. Even with her eyes half closed, Catherine could not resist a last conversation with her disconcerted husband.

'For a little while tonight I was transported back to my school days.'

'Is this behaviour today more like who you were then?'

'Yes. I suppose I was more like my old self.' Catherine paused wondering what prompted the question, born out of his observations. 'If you knew me then, would you still have fallen in love with me?'

'A better question Catherine is, would you have fallen in love with me?'

'I would like to say yes and mean it, but I don't know. I can't imagine not loving you. I also can't imagine that the same forces of nature which brought us together and held us bound to each other, would not have been at work even then. Our destiny is to be as we are now. Probably, the journey would have been different.'

'I am sure it would have been different, but I also wonder if I would have had the courage to love you when I was younger. My heart leaps in fear at the thought of even the slightest possibility of never knowing you. I hope that I could have found my strength in you then, even as I did when we met.'

'I will dream about that tonight. I love you now Vincent. It is really all that matters.'

'And I love you.'

The silence which fell over the house came quickly. Vincent had been right. Everyone was tired, but excitement lay beneath the calm surface. Everyone anticipated that the following two days were to be filled with joy shared at a once in a liftime event.


	10. Chapter 10

No one really slept well. The bleary-eyed, early morning risers all looked tired, as they sat around the breakfast table trying to take in enough coffee to camouflage their fatigue. It was closing in on six am.

Vincent had been up the longest. He needed very little sleep and often stayed in bed only for the pleasure of lying next to his wife. The exquisite joy of waking and finding her in his arms had not diminished at all and kept him in bed much later than his tunnel days.

On the eve of the big wedding, it seemed foolish to indulge himself when much needed to be done. He had reluctantly kissed his sleeping wife before going outside to discuss the day's plan with Rob. Vincent wanted to be clear about just when they would be leaving and who would need to be picked up on the way. Rob was happy to review all the details of the route and demonstrate the amenities of the luxury travel bus including the GPS device which would track their route from start to finish.

'Are you telling me that this screen will actually tell you which way to travel?' he had queried, totally at a loss to understand modern theory.

Rob smiled and patiently explained the ability of satellites to hone in on a particular person or place. Despite Rob's patient detailed tutoring, Vincent continued to look blank and gave up on trying to understand any concepts beyond a general sense of '_follow the electronic map'_.

'Sit with me on the way up. You'll see it in action. Perhaps then it will make sense. This technology has been used by ships, and planes for years.'

Certain that it would not be any clearer by staring at a screen, he nodded and felt a brief rush of sadness for all the worldly advances which had passed him by.

If Vincent decided to admit the truth to himself, he was very excited to make this short trip with his wife. The memory of their failed excursion, years before, stayed with him. It was not a happy memory. Out of fear, a missed opportunity to take a chance and spend the day with Catherine, led to a near lifetime of regret.

The long trip to the west coast had been a mission of mercy fraught with excitement and discovery. Now he was willingly taking a real holiday with his wife. During moments when he castigated himself over the lost chance of the past, he thought how absurd to have been afraid. However, the fear of exposure and his reception by others would not leave him easily. He quelled those thoughts which generated anxiety in his gut and chatted with Rob as much in a desire to learn as to allay any lingering doubts about going.

* * *

Without the love of her life nearby, Catherine could not stay in bed alone and soon dragged herself up to shower and get some food. The injections she was receiving, were helping a great deal. She found energy came easily and lingered longer.

The girls were not home. Erin had worn her down the previous night. Flush with the success of the fabulous dress, she felt bold enough to remind Catherine that she would have more freedom without the little ones under foot. Reluctantly the protective mother let them go, hugging little Mea fiercely. Cilla accepted a quick kiss but seemed far more blasé. She was excited about the chance to sleep over with Chachi and Uncle Brian. Everyone began to feel the loss of Cilla's energy around the house. There was no doubt that she was already transitioning to the warmth of a family, where blood ties pulled strongly. At some point it would be important to support her transition to that life. A blood relative had far more sway. Catherine and Jacob's guardianship of the girls would come up for review when their natural father, Marcus, was released from jail.

Catherine and the women had already packed their travel bags full of their designer dresses for the wedding, as well as casual outfits needed for the three day stay. The bottom of the bus was full of the suitcases, but Terry's wedding dress would ride above. No one was taking any chances.

The late summer dawn over New York city was lovely. The orange sun, rose like a ball of fire, barely visible in the high density Manhattan streets and seen only intermittently between the tall buildings. The day was bound to be busy in the big city. It was a Friday and the beginning of a time when many families would be returning from holidays and shopping in preparation for a child's return to school. None of those things was discussed by the party of family and friends. They locked the door to the Brownstone and boarded the bus ready to begin their adventure.

The seats in the luxury vehicle were comfortable. A wide expanse of windows enabled everyone to look out over the scenery. For some, the downtown sights were exciting but for Vincent and Jacob, they remained unmoved until the green vista of the countryside came into view. It was breathtaking for the relatively new travelers.

Once before, Jacob and Cathy had made the trip north to Albany by Greyhound bus during a long and stressful night. It was there that Jacob had gone to confront Senator Joe Maxwell about the possibility of Catherine's survival immediately following his birth. As he sat with Cathy, holding hands and staring out the window, visions of that night ride surfaced. Unexpectedly, an opportunity to relive the events of that troubling journey returned full force. The current knowledge that his mother was indeed alive and returned to him and his father mitigated some of the rising anxiety. He turned to his wife, tears suspiciously watering the blue eyes.

'Remember KitCat? It was a weird night. It's hard to even remember what I was feeling.'

'Jacob, I can't imagine how difficult that night was. You were so young and inexperienced and yet you were willing to challenge Senator Joe. It took a lot of courage. You could have been deeply disappointed you know.'

'No, I don't think so. I remember that I wanted to know where she was buried because I still believed that Mama was dead.'

'That's right….you did!''

'Look at how far we've travelled. What a difference! Mom and Dad are reunited, and now, you are also my wife,' he said smiling into her eyes.

Cathy cuddled closer to her husband. Since their recovery from the kidnapping they had felt a new closeness in their relationship. Every time Cathy looked at the emerald ring on her finger, she was reminded about how meaningful their life had become in such a short time. She accepted the challenges of their lives, because of who they were, but she was determined not to let her own inner unease and worry be the cornerstone of their relationship. Cathy had not passed the night lost in her recurring dreams. With a few days of freedom looming ahead, Jacob, who often felt bogged down by work related issues, had been a passionate and demanding lover. She slept dreamlessly in his arms, content to be carried along on the tide of excitement generated by Terry's wedding.

* * *

The bus pulled into the gates of the estate two and a half hours later. Everyone was enthralled by the sights and sounds. There was security guarding the entrance. Rob showed his ID and was encouraged to take the drive leading up to the house. Patrick stood waiting at the front entrance. The bus hardly pulled to a halt in the large courtyard before he was at the door, anxious to make his special guests welcome. His eyes sought and found his childhood friend. His first smile was for her but a quick sweep welcomed everyone equally.

'I am delighted to welcome all of you to my home. Rob will take you down to the camp. There are quite a few choices and each trailer and motor home has been identified with your name. If we have forgotten anything, there's a co ordinator ready to help out. Later this afternoon after you settle in, I welcome everyone up at the house for cocktails.'

'Thank you so much Patrick. We are all excited to be here,' Catherine responded. Terry seconded the sentiment. No one knew exactly what had been set up out in the field but there was definitely an adventure underway. The bus turned around in the courtyard and made a right turn down another road. Beyond the trees, there was a flurry of white visible and the sound of laughter. In the distance, the farm, ranch and livestock could be seen. Everyone held their breath as the bus turned into a narrow path between the trees before it stopped at the edge of the clearing.

A magical city had been created. Someone with incredible vision had erected a small village capable of housing and feeding at least one hundred people. Resembling an old fashioned gypsy encampment, the motor homes had been laid out in a wide semi circle. In front of each one, staked into the ground was a poster with the intended occupant's name beautifully crafted. The bridal trailer was marked out by a large white ribbon. Flowers were everywhere.

People milled about, clearly waiting for the bride to arrive. The bus was greeted with shouts and cheers. Terry hesitated, feeling shy from all the attention, but got up to the applause from inside and out. She was swept up into the arms of her family and friends but surely none as important as her delightful young son. Jason and his men had been banished to another part of the property. They would be allowed a short time with the bride's party later in the afternoon for a quick rehearsal, but the couple were to be kept apart until the ceremony the following day. Terry was led along to her trailer by everyone clamouring to talk with her.

Looking beyond the semi circle of motorhomes, there were two very large tents. Men dressed in white chef uniforms stood alongside the servers, ready to help guests with a wide array of foods. Tables and chairs were set out in the tents. Picnic benches covered with white cloths dotted a central area. A fire and barbeque pit was isolated from the main area. The carcass of the pig on a spit, dripped fat into the flames causing flashes of sparks and smoke. Another area had a tent set up for drinks. Music played from invisible speakers, a mix of traditional, Spanish, Mexican and of course popular rock and country music. No one was to be disappointed. Beyond the food tents were different areas for the children to play, including pony rides and a small wading pool.

Very little was missing and hardly anyone was unmoved by the amenities.

* * *

Vincent waited for the rush of people to subside and move away with Terry. A little of the fear which had plagued him early in the morning returned when he saw the number of people who milled about. Few faces were familiar. He and Catherine had discussed the possibility that he may not be able to participate. Childhood habits die hard but an unprotected and visibly vulnerable face may invite insurmountable curiosity and unwanted questions. A beautiful trailer with a sign marked Catherine and Vincent in decorative letters beckoned. Inside was a space, big enough for the two of them and quite as luxurious as the big bus which brought them from California. The bedroom was towards the back. There was a living space with chairs and a small couch and a kitchenette. It was delightfully cozy. Vincent sighed with relief. His nervousness dissipated as he watched his wife check out all the interesting corners and facilities.

'What do you think?'

'I think we could be happy here.' She replied walking towards him with a spark in her eyes.

'Catherine?'

'Vincent, being here suddenly reminds me of the night you came to me, appeared at my window, like a knight in shining armour. All I could do then was to cling to you with my weakened arms, feeling like a frightened child, needing to hold you and be held. I am a woman now and here we are with the opportunity to override the memories of our short living history.'

'Override?'

'OK, Rewrite.'

The frown was clearly a negative response.

'Relive?' The pleading shrug of the shoulders finally registered.

'Catherine, it is the middle of the day. There are people out there.'

'And a lock on the door.'

The smile on Vincent's face was comical. He gathered up his wife and headed for the bedroom door, needing no further invitations.

* * *

Cathy and Jacob quickly found their own quarters. It was some distance from their parents. Both wondered if the separation was by design or accident. The total distance was unimportant. Most of the motor homes looked the same. Inside the young couple found quite comfortable accommodation. They were surprised by the layout. It was wonderful to have a space to themselves. After settling in, they sat at their small kitchen table discussing a plan.

'I saw Kurt's car in the courtyard. I suppose there's going to be work related stuff going on up at the big house?' Cathy's voice and accent were hilarious.

'Do you mind if we talk a little business? It won't be long. Patrick has something on his mind.'

'Honestly, no! I want to walk around and meet people and see what's going on. If you don't feel like joining me, that's ok.'

'Are you sure Kit Cat? I really don't mind sharing this time with you, if you want me.'

Cathy knew his words were true. He held her head in his hands and stared into the beloved face, his eyes darting back and forth trying to capture the essence of some unknown thread.

'If our night had been different, I would want you to stay by me all day, mostly because I would be afraid, but something about what we did last night fills me until I can hardly breathe with the joy of it.'

'Really Cath?'

'Yes really. I mean it. I want to savour our love but I also want to explore the grounds and just walk around for awhile, take in the sights and sounds. This setting brings up a lot of memories for me. When my mother and I went to florida, we lived in a place like this but it wasn't so nice.'

'Are they bad memories?'

'Mostly yes, but some were good. I didn't hate life as much as I did in New York 'cuz I felt kind of free there. Do you know what I mean?'

''I understand what finding freedom means.' He paused knowing that the words were significant. 'OK, check with my mother if you get lonely.'

'Oh Jacob. I don't think your mother is interested in anything except your father today.'

'I think you're right. It's a good thing too. Kurt is getting more and more like a puppy dog when she's around.'

Jacob and Cathy both laughed at the thought of their boss and his not so secret crush on Catherine. The normally well rounded, powerful man was like putty in her company. Jacob felt no further need to stay. Patrick had something on his mind and wanted to review it with Kurt and his young assistant. Jacob didn't know if it was something pertaining to his own case or another issue but the attorney general seemed to have a need to unload his concerns under the cover of the wedding. Jacob kissed Cathy and left ducking his head beneath the low entrance. Disdaining the mini golf carts provided for transportation, he allowed his long legs to sprint up the drive to the main house.

Cathy stayed for a short time, puttering around the motorhome. She wouldn't have to cook or prepare anything but the small apartment sized facility suited her mood. She felt safe. It was a lot like the very small apartment she had before moving in with Jacob. Her mind was inclined to re-live the memories of their relationship. Part of her just wanted to lie down and daydream on the inviting bed. Instead, she opened the suitcase and hung up their dress clothes in a small closet. All the while her mind was preoccupied with more inviting thoughts. Pushing herself to step out of the reverie of the past, she slipped into a pair of pants, a light top and weggie sandals. She surmised that Terry would be taken up with her family for awhile. Catherine was busy elsewhere. It would be the perfect time to explore.

* * *

Cathy opened the door to the trailer and skirted the perimeter of the encampment before strolling towards the paddock where the horses were exercising. Her eyes were locked on the beautiful and graceful animals. She felt a kinship with their spirited nature and wanted to watch up closer. The fence was full of men, lined up like crows on an overhead power line, watching the rider take a horse through its paces. As she got closer, the identity of the rider was clear. Jason sat astride the animal as if they were one. _'I suppose if you put a near perfect man on a near perfect horse you get perfection,'_ she mused admiring the way he handled the spirited animal.

One of the observers moved away from the fence and she walked over to take the spot. 'Do you mind if I squeeze in here?' she asked the tall ash blonde man who eyes followed Jason's every move.

'Not at all,' he answered graciously. 'Do you need a hand?' It was clear he had been surprised by the soft female voice.

'I'm fine thanks,' she said stepping up on the lowest rung to get a better view.

The man turned in her direction with a slight smile on his face. 'Philippe Jardinière.'

'Cathy Wells.'

'Are you the Catherine from New York? You are more youthful than I thought.'

'No that's my mother in law and godmother. I'm married to her son.'

'I see.' The pale blue eyes returned to horse and rider. He didn't identify himself other than the name. It sounded foreign, French. There was definitely an accent.

'Are you from Louisiana?'

'No, I'm from Belgium originally.'

'Oh!' Cathy was surprised at how foreign he really was. She was startled into silence. She observed his face and stature. He was not a young man, probably in his late fifties or early sixties. His slim body was covered in a designer fitted shirt and khaki slacks which lent a quiet elegance to his demeanour. The man on her other side was busy, engaged in conversation with his buddies. She surmised that they were men from Jason's unit.

'Bravo Jason!' the voice on her right side rang out. Cathy looked back at the paddock, just in time to see Jason execute some deft turns, before trotting the horse to the gate where he dismounted and handed over the reins to Dinarte.

Philippe returned his attention to Cathy. She could not look away from him. There was a mesmerizing quality to his eyes. She wondered what felt familiar about him. He exuded warmth and strength, surprising in a man so slight of build. His height made him a standout. He was nearly as tall as Vincent and Jacob.

Jason didn't appear to be riding anymore. The crowd was dispersing and moving away from the fence, but the man continued to make idle chatter with Cathy. She smiled at a comment he made, worried that she had offended him when he returned the smile with a frown.

'Did I say something wrong?'

'No. You just reminded me of someone for a moment. Do you live here in New York?'

'Yes, I was born here…in the city of course.'

'Yes, of course.' His accent deepened slightly.

'Phil! Who's that pretty girl you're talking to?'

'Vlad, come and meet Cathy, the daughter-in-law of the famous Catherine.'

The pair had turned at the sound of his name being called. Approaching them was Vladimir, Jason father. He was not at all what Cathy expected. Jason more resembled the tall man at her side than the stocky man with salt and pepper hair who was walking towards them, a smile on his face.

'Where's the little one?'

'Sandy can't let go of him. How are you Cathy? Nice to meet you,' Vladimir said graciously. She returned his greeting and shook hands, suddenly at a loss for words.

'How is Terry holding up?' he queried. Vladimir had the stance and demeanour of a cop. It wasn't aggressive but controlled.

'She's nervous but happy. Everything has been prepared for her comfort. Right now she's spending time with her family.'

'I've never seen anything like it! I know you've been a big part of it Cathy. Thanks for all your support.'

The more he spoke, the more Cathy could see the resemblance to Jason in his facial expressions. Even as she relaxed and listened intently to his words, she felt drawn to the other man at her side. What was it that she sensed about him? She thought of Frederick, her biological father. If he had been able to create a relationship like this with someone of the same sex, he might have been a happier man. Judging by their relationship to each other, the Pops'n'Phil pair were just like any other couple.

Very soon they were joined by Jason. 'I see you've met my two Dads,' he said leaning over to place a kiss on her cheek.

'I have. Philippe introduced himself to me then your Dad.' Cathy, who had a good ear, repeated his name just as he had said it, instead of the American way.

'Philippe. I haven't heard my name said that way for years. Are you sure you're not …? He halted mid sentence, listening to the call from some unseen messenger asking everyone to move forward to the big tent at the bottom of the hill. 'Seems like we are being paged. Would you like to join us Cathy?'

'It's almost time for rehearsal. I don't want to be too far away.'

'I think that's where we are all going. Let's go together.'

Jason strode on ahead, obviously anxious to see his fiancée, if only for a short time. Philippe slowed his pace to Cathy and continued to engage her in conversation. Something about the man felt very comfortable. Cathy couldn't define it but the closeness of the Pops 'n' Phil duo relieved some of the distressing sense of loss Cathy experienced by not having a loving male parent. The idea that it is the character of the man and not his sexuality which shaped him had taken root during her conversation with Terry. Now she was cemented in the idea. Taking Philippe's extended arm to guide her over the rough spots, she smiled and relaxed.


	11. Chapter 11

'Catherine, I can't believe this moment.'

'Believe it, my love.'

The smile, bestowed on his unique countenance, drove Vincent to forget time and place all over again. Their daring _'hideaway'_ afternoon became a revelation for the _'not so young anymore' _couple. Despite Vincent's passing years, he had the stamina of a man half his age. The desire which had been sublimated for so long, first into anger and then work, finally surfaced. There could have been another moment in time, when the love they felt overwhelmed common sense but it was to be in this time and place, a long overdue '_abandonment of the senses'_ consummation of their love.

Vincent had made love to Catherine many times, but infrequently, since their first coupling, weeks after they returned from California. Whether they were above in the privacy of the Brownstone, or below in his chambers, their passion existed in a vacuum. The history of it was complicated, disturbed by death and separation, pain and complex living. There was a disconnect between the couple, which time and effort did not breech. Catherine's renewed energy contributed much to the moment but the most profound realization of need came the instant they stepped through the doorway of the motor home. It didn't look or smell the same as the large bus-like structure which brought Vincent and Jacob from New York but it did provide a virtual doorway to the past.

The couple however, had weathered much more over the nearly three years since their reunion. They had grown in affection, actually falling in love with each other again. The true sexual force of the reunion in California, had it been in health, would have been celebrated then. The energy of desire had been suppressed until the moment they walked through the door of this smaller, cozy motor home planted wheel-less in a harvested corn field in the heart of New York state.

Vincent could hardly ever admit to himself how disappointed he had been that making love to his long missing soul mate was nearly impossible. Truly, he had been unbearably thrilled just to have her back. For her part, Catherine's weakness put intimacy on the back burner. She never wanted to admit the truth but even those times when they made the effort, she suffered. Inside this small room and in a heartbeat or so it seemed, she saw their relationship in a dream sequence and knew that the moment of their reunion had to be re-lived with the physical experience balancing the emotional and spiritual.

In that frame of mind, the discomforts receded, the passion and the power of their love transcended everything beyond what they could ever imagine. Vincent and Catherine made love with the unabashed frenzy in a new found fervour. When air and food finally became a necessity, they drew back slightly from each other laughing like kids on a second date, surprised to find that maybe there was more to love than just being kind to each other.

'Can you believe that I am hungry?'

'For more or for real food?'

'Can I say both, but energy needs fuel.'

'Vincent, I have seldom known you to be short of energy.'

The satiated husband rolled on to his back, breathing deeply but pulling his wife, so that she lay on top of him, staring into his face. 'You have surprised me in many ways with your courage Catherine but this, it takes my breath away.'

Before he could catch another one, she sat up, her thighs pressing astride his powerful body. What ever rational thought had prompted his desire for food, it disappeared. Before long, neither could speak. They became consumed with desire and with each other. The afternoon sun shone through the window of the motor home and moved on unheeded as if seeking another soul to appreciate its warming energy. It was clear that the couple inside had no need of light, food or anything else except each other.

* * *

'I haven't seen your mother and father Jacob. Have you?'

'Nope! But I know they're ok, just enjoying the change in scenery. You can always help Mama to catch up with whatever Terry wants later.' Jacob's smile was delicious. He was happy and relaxed. The young husband had listened to Cathy talk about her afternoon at the fence with Jason's stepfather and the conversation they shared.

'He's so easy to talk with Jacob. He asked me a lot of questions. I don't know what he does but he kind of directed the movements of the rehearsal. His calmness helped me to relax. You know how uptight I get when my emotions override my commonsense.'

'Are you kidding?'

'About him or me?'

'You!...my calm ever practical wife.'

'Thought you knew me better than that.'

A little tickling between the couple settled the matter. Their casually elegant clothing was at variance with the childish behaviour but it only served to demonstrate how relaxing the atmosphere of the weekend had become. They were headed up to the big house for cocktails. Cathy didn't probe Jacob for details of his meeting with Patrick and Kurt. Sometimes business was best left alone. He would share the information if needed.

They were met at the door by Patrick, who was greeting everyone with his usual graciousness. 'Where's your mother Jacob? I haven't seen her all afternoon.'

'Resting.'

Patrick was taken aback by the brevity of the response but continued. 'Come in. Make yourselves at home.'

The young couple smiled and walked forward into a large ground floor room. There were several people milling around in various groups, talking and accepting drinks and hors d'oevres from servers carrying trays. Cathy knew quite a few of the faces from her early afternoon exploration. The young couple, chose to remain abstinent and declined drinks as they moved around saying hello to everyone. Terry was also absent, spending time with her immediate family, preparing for the big day. There were some traditions which were important to her Mexican cultural heritage. Patrick understood.

The bridegroom was present, holding court in a far corner. Jason was surrounded by a group of men but he stood out, his aura of anticipation elevating him above all of them. He smiled a lot but his eyes darted about as if seeking someone. Jacob and Cathy's appearance gave him the opportunity to excuse himself. In a few strides, Jason was standing next to Jacob.

'How are you holding up?' Jacob enquired, sensing an urgency in the taut body.

'The truth?'

The confirming nods encouraged him to continue.

'I want to slip out of here for a few minutes. I need to meet Terry. We aren't supposed to but...jeez, I miss her. I don't know how you survived all this pre-wedding stuff Jacob.' Jason ran his fingers through his still thick, hair.

'I don't either, but my Dad was a rock for me.'

'I've got three Dads at my beck and call, but the one person I want right now is my wife.'

'Did you have a plan to meet?'

'Yes, she's feeling the same. I don't know how she'll get away but we are going to rendezvous down by the barn.' The words were said with a wink.

'Come with me.' Cathy grabbed Jason's arm and guided him out a side door which she remembered from her last visit. It appeared as if the three were moving away from the crowd in order to have a private conversation. Jason slipped out. Jacob and Cathy waited a few minutes before returning to the main room. They were greeted by Philippe.

'I won't ask. I can see that Jason was getting frustrated,' Philippe acknowledged raising his hands in a wholly European gesture.

'Philippe, this is my husband Jacob.' Cathy smiled in acknowledgement of the man's sensitivity. The two men shook hands. 'Jacob, do you mind if I borrow your wife for a few minutes?'

Jacob was surprised but nodded and smiled. It was clear that the Jason's stepfather had seen something in Cathy which he admired. They walked away while Jacob moved over to Kurt's side. He was engaged in a conversation with Marian and Serena, one of Terry's cousins. Marian looked stunning. Her long hair, usually up in a tight French knot, fell loosely down around her shoulders. The black dress accentuated her ultra slim figure. She had toned down her normally abrasive persona and looked utterly feminine.

Eric was soon at their side. He had some telephone conversations with Marian in the past. Her brutal and often direct talk shocked him. The vivacious and attractive blonde seemed to have transformed into a butterfly. She was gracious and kind, not at all behaving like the same person. Jacob watched the interplay between the small group, attracted by her energy, gathering around. It wasn't long before Patrick joined them. Serena was young, beautiful and charming but unable to hold a candle to Marian's experience, charismatic charm and socially appropriate conversation. No explosions marred the conversation and everyone laughed at her sharp wit.

* * *

'Hugh, this is Cathy.' Cathy smiled and offered her hand.

'Are you Cathy? Very happy to meet you..this is my wife Gina.'

Cathy nodded at the couple. It wasn't strange for her to be introduced to Jason's family but she was beginning to feel as if she were on show. She tried to make some small talk with the interested couple hoping that she didn't sound vague. They asked a lot of normal questions but there was a feeling of disquiet growing inside her. Something was troubling. She indicated a desire to move on but before they went to anyone else, Cathy halted Philippe in his tracks. He expressed his query with an utterly charming head tilt. Cathy was not moved.

'Did Terry say anything to you about me?'

'Yes she did. Have I said something to offend you?'

'Look, you don't have to prove anything to me. I'm fine with the circumstances of my life. I appreciate your effort but it's unnecessary.'

'I don't understand.'

'You said you spoke with Terry. I don't need you to make me feel better about things. I'm alright with it now.' Cathy felt her anger rising over what she perceived as Terry's breach of confidentiality. She had no right to share her secret with anyone else. Cathy could feel Jacob respond to her rising distress and she sought his eyes in the crowd, shaking her head to stop him making a beeline to her.

'Yes but...'

'I don't need placating.'

'Is that what you think? I am spending my time with you... to placate you? No, I was amazed by the strength you showed under pressure. I just admire your courage.'

'Courage? You said Terry told you about me?'

'Well she did also, but Jason really told the story because he was there.'

'The story? You mean about the kidnapping?'

'Yes, I so admired you and wanted a chance to enjoy your company.'

'Philippe, I am so sorry. I thought you were feeling sorry for me and trying to make up for the fact that my father was a mean spirited man who also happened to be Gay..'

'Clearly there is a misunderstanding. I had no idea...Terry would never break a confidence.'

'I know Philippe. Forgive me?'

'There's nothing to forgive. I would much rather hear about your escapade than listen to stories of any man who would be mean to such a charming daughter.'

Cathy laughed and took the offered arm again. She felt the light pat of reassurance on her hand. Despite the request for the story of her heroics, she talked instead about the man who dominated her mother's life and ruined her own. Philippe was a patient listener.

'Do you have children?' she asked quietly after unburdening herself.

His raised eyebrows were comical.

'I'm sorry again. I didn't want to assume that you can't have a family. Vladimir does.'

'I wish...I wish... no, I don't have any children of my own but if I did, I would wish her to be like you Cathy. You are a most delightful young woman.'

* * *

Although it was late summer, the evening light was still bright. Jason slipped out behind the house and down the lane, skirting the main path. He removed his telltale jacket and placed a baseball cap over his hair. The desperate man felt like a teenager running out to meet the locked up daughter of the local magistrate. He had no problem respecting the tradition and culture of her family, but Terry did not look happy at rehearsal. She had sent him a pleading look. He responded with a few fingers to indicate time and a head tilt for direction. Her lowered eyes assured him that the message was received. Jason wanted to reassure himself that she was ok, not just with the wedding but the whole idea of marriage.

He waited in the shadows behind the barn, looking left and right for signs of her sure and rapid gait among the moving bodies in the distance. It wasn't long before Terry emerged from between the trees, the long hair hanging loose around her shoulders, straight into the arms of her lover.

'Poochie, I have missed you. This is madness!'

Jason could hardly speak. He had been with this woman for more than twelve years. His love was undiminished by time and circumstance. 'Is it too much for you?' he asked into her hair.

'No, I'm just not used to doing things without you. We should be together with our little boy.'

'After tomorrow, we will be. Indivisible, if what they say is true! Speaking of truth, this won't bring us bad luck will it?'

'Oh Jason, you are the luck of my life. I don't believe all that stuff but my Tia does and it's important to her. Are you worried about it?'

'Kevin says belief can kill and belief can cure.'

'Where'd he come up with that?'

'He has a new girlfriend from the Caribbean islands.'

Terry laughed thinking of Jason's second in command. He was a mush for women but very superstitious on the job. She grew serious as the feel of Jason arms penetrated to the very core of her body.

'I never thought I would allow my family to separate us and yet I am doing this willingly because I love you and want to make it right with both our families.'

'Do you think I care about this little charade if you're unhappy? Sure it's meaningful for everyone else and I appreciate the effort people are making but honestly we're already married Babe... have been from the day I laid eyes on you.'

Reaching up Terry pulled his head down to her. 'Jason, just shut up and kiss me.'

If anyone heard laughter and sighs from behind the barn, they never let on. Clearly the country air and nearly full moon was having a powerful effect on everything.

* * *

A slight flurry of activity at the house drew everyone's attention to the door. A figure appeared at the front door to gasps of surprise. The Governor for the state arrived, his wife on his arm, smiling at his host.

'Thank you for coming governor, Mrs. Smirconish. Welcome.'

'My pleasure Patrick and thank you for inviting us.'

Everyone observed pleasantries. The tone in the room was quietened slightly by the new arrival. There were whispers. Jason and Terry weren't a part of the New York scene. The other guests wondered about the dignitary's presence at the party. After the initial shock, people began to mumble as the host and his special guest made their way around the room shaking hands and making small talk. The Governor was polite and observant. His small eyes, hidden behind thick lenses, seemed to take in everything.

'Jacob, how good to meet you again. Where is your mother? I hoped to see her as well.'

'I believe she's resting Sir.'

Disappointment showed on his face. Jacob was disappointed too. His mother and father were hidden away. He didn't want to intrude on their private time but it seemed strange that they would travel all this way to hide in a motor home when a beautiful setting was waiting for their exploration. The truth is that their absence was getting embarrassing. Jacob kept his smile neutral and nodded in response to the small talk. His relief was palpable when the bookish intense man moved on. Jacob sought out his wife. He longed to walk in the fields, watch the sun reach its final resting place and make love under the moonlight. He too was hoping to capture some of the ambience of the countryside.

He turned to whisper in Cathy's ear, 'Come on KitCat. Let's get outta here.'

She laughed in response before turning coyly to look up in his eyes. 'What you got in mind big boy?'

Jacob loved these moments with Cathy. She taught him how to relax and be funny. He had a wonderful ability to mimic accents just as she could quote almost every line from every old movie. Spontaneity did not come easily to Cathy, nor did Jacob do well with tedious ponderous tasks, but they managed to bring out the best of these character deficits and enjoy each other. Hand in hand they turned around to slip out the same side door as Jason when they were halted by another gasp from the front door. Jacob turned, heart pounding. There, on the threshold, stood his parents. On second glance he was sure of his father but the woman standing next to him seemed more like a younger version of his mother. The Catherine he saw in the old videos had suddenly come to life.

Vincent never looked old. His hair and skin were ageless. Some of his facial hair had been lost to time giving him a more human look. Sue had helped him to care for his hair and it shone with golden highlights, falling in waves to his shoulders. He wore a black suit and white open neck shirt. The hair on his hands had been trimmed slightly, making the fingers less intimidating. As good as Vincent looked, Catherine was really the showstopper. She looked stunning. Since her return from California, she had tended to wear matronly clothes, full tops and baggy pants. Understandably, she needed comfort to allow movement in her stiff limbs. No one noted the changes but Catherine had been working hard to restore muscle bulk to her limbs. As husband and wife entered the room, they were surrounded by a glow of perfect health and happiness.

Patrick was at her side in a heartbeat, followed by Kurt, then the governor. They could easily have been halted by Vincent, but the happy husband was delighted to see Catherine return to herself. The little black dress and wide belt looked regal. Her shoes were high enough to manage in comfort and give definition to her thighs. The brown silvery hair was just above shoulder length and glowing with good health. They quickly became the centre of attention. Jacob did not try to reach his parents. This was their time to be celebrated among their peers.

Choosing not to change plans, Cathy and Jacob slipped out, just as a much happier Jason was returning from his secret tryst.

'Our turn!' quipped Jacob as they met face to face. The two men shared a high five before the young couple slipped down into the darkening evening.


	12. Chapter 12

The guests at the cocktail party failed to realize that time was passing. The Chef down by the tent had long since prepared a wide array of food and waited patiently for the hungry to descend. Apparently the revelry up at the house continued unabated. It was almost as noisy as a rowdy bachelor party. Marian unleashed and uncensored brought her California savvy to the New York elite. She held court with wit and charm. Sue, who had known her for years as an employer was shocked by this new version and couldn't wait to share the details with the bride-to-be some later time.

Marian could not, however, hold a candle to the real queen of the night. Catherine's appearance with Vincent shifted the energy to the door. Few had seen Vincent up close, had not even thought about who he was or how he would look. There was no doubt that his overall appearance was arresting, even stunning but hooked on his arm was a woman who looked like the cover of Vogue magazine. Who would argue that he didn't belong?

If the truth be known, Vincent had just about made up his mind to give the party and ceremony a wide berth. The trees, fields, and country animals held their own fascination. In addition, his condition, his fear of exposure and ridicule had weakened his resolve to be a suitable and faithful companion to his wife. He did not lack verbal skills. His education below in the tunnels was extensive, if limited to the arts, but he could hold a conversation with anyone. His height might be intimidating but next to several of the men, a few inches seemed like nothing. He already had a small clique of people who knew him but it was the delightful and elegant woman on his arm who carried the evening.

Catherine couldn't express what the moment meant to her. Time had been kind. Despite troubling set backs in her health, she weathered those storms. Regaining her strength had been a work in progress. Appearing with Vincent set the seal on what seemed to be a long recovery culminating in their own personal afternoon of renewal. This evening, coming out publically and openly with her husband, marked the beginning of a new chapter in her life. She smiled widely, greeting her old friend Patrick, and thanking him for his support of Terry's nuptials.

'Catherine, I wondered if you felt well enough to join us. The wait was worth it.'

'Thank you my dear friend. I had been gathering strength for the hours ahead.' Her smile was guileless.

The governor was soon at her side. He had his own agenda and before long, her usual back up knight, Kurt, was also at her side. Vincent disengaged himself. He had no interest in the political machinery which was stamped on the faces of the men surrounding his wife. He smiled at her and went over to Jason for a bit of small talk. Interestingly, everyone made way for the governor, including Kurt, who left them alone to speak. Howie had something up his sleeve and wanted to engage his old friend.

'Catherine, you surprise me. You seemed very fragile at the Ball.'

'I was Governor but the effort to attend was well worth it.'

'I long to hear you call me Howie again.'

'Really?' Catherine smiled remembering the young man she had known. He seemed very vulnerable but his position was secure and he was a popular politician. The governor's wife had found a chair for her perpetually swollen and aching feet. She left her hubby to socialize. He had his own agenda for the evening. She knew he had a role for his childhood friend and thought he could press his advantage in the social setting.

'I was hoping you would phone me Catherine.'

'I felt too unstable to be of any help. Things are changing in my life now. I may consider contributing in some way but nothing too involved. I still have two small girls at home.'

'If I promise not to corral you today, would you phone my office next week if I give you a private number.'

'OK Howie. I promise to call.'

The concession helped to remove any reluctance to pursue the matter later. Howie wanted to monopolize her, but Catherine had other people to meet and greet. Kurt came by again, burned out by the fire that was Marian and hopeful of a few words from Catherine without her husband hovering. He had never seen her looking not only exquisitely beautiful but also sexy. He wished he could stay away from the mother of his young employee but he couldn't. Her energy drew him like a magnet. He was kind and circumspect, respectful to the Governor but he didn't hang around when it was clear that she wanted to move on to others. Kurt was one of the few who began to need food. Despite the fact that he would be sleeping up at the big house, the open food tent was the place to go. He slipped out the door along with a few others. The smell of meat roasting on the barbeque was wafting seductively towards the house.

Howie continued to follow Catherine, seeming to be lost without a woman at his side. Many of the other guests stayed away from them unless called. The prestige of the office was intimidating to most, but one man headed directly towards the unlikely couple.

'Madame,' he began acknowledging Catherine before turning to the man at her side. 'Governor, you may not remember me but my name is Philippe Jardinière.'

There was a pause, followed by a deep look. 'From Belgium?'

'72-73?'

'Yes...yes of course. My God, Philippe. It's been years. Are you a friend of the bride or groom?'

'The groom is the son of my partner.' The eyebrows went up. Howie reluctantly drew his eyes away from Philippe to introduce Catherine.

'I have also been longing to meet you all day Madame. It has been worth the wait.'

Catherine was charmed by his manners. She had heard a lot about him from Terry. There was an awkward moment. These two men obviously had a long standing relationship. They wanted to talk.

'There's some people I need to get to. I see that you both need to catch up. Howie, we'll talk next week and Philippe I'll look forward to chatting with you soon.'

Catherine moved on. _'What an interesting connection'_ she thought.

Philippe and Howie smiled and engaged in a bit of reminiscing. It had been years since they were in graduate school together. The two men had been struggling with the end of relationships when they first met. They didn't have much else in common but their friendship remained steadfast throughout the three years they shared a room as students. Howard Smirconish was already a lawyer and wanted a degree in business. Philippe had majored in music but needed to add business practice to his resume. Both worked hard to overcome the sresses of dealing with their respective broken hearts. Howie's nerdiness, and Philippe's homosexuality were never an issue between the two men. They kept their focus on school work. To the onlooker, the tall aesthetic looking man and the short, portly balding VIP were as different as night and day. Mutual friends thought the same at the time. None the less, both men graduated with honours in the MBA program.

'I can see what you have been up to Howard. You've done very well.'

'I have,' he said without false modesty. 'Some luck, some hard work. How about you?'

'I'm still in the music business. My relationship mended itself when I went back to California. It took awhile but Vlad and I have been together almost 30 years.'

'I'm happy for you. Lauren never came back but I have been happy enough with Rose.' He gave an absentminded smile in her direction before returning to Philippe. 'That band you used to play with, what happened to it?'

'Vlad and I still play with Jason and a couple of his musical buddies. We have fun now but the other guys our age dropped out and one died.'

'You had quite a little following.'

'We did. That's all past now. I'm an old man looking to retire.'

Howard Malcolm Smirconish laughed uneasily. On the issue of age, he and Philippe differed. He still felt young and hoped to run again as Governor. None of his ambition went beyond his current position but he wanted to leave a mark at the end of his term. Catherine was just the person to help him, if he could convince her.

* * *

'Catherine?' The tall women holding onto the guest's arm, smiled, waiting for the obvious response before speaking. 'I'm Sandy, Jason's mother.'

There was no mistaking the family resemblance. Jason was the image of his mother. His long lithe frame and essentially Celtic features were a replica of her own. Catherine smiled. She had no urge to avoid this meeting. Sandy was talkative, clearly proud of her son and anxious to make a good impression on the woman who was such a strong influence on Terry. The conversation was openly friendly but Catherine detected an undertone which was troubling. Her antenna, long since laid to rest, returned full force with a change in tone and volume as the woman continued to speak.

'It's been nice having Vladimir close to me. Of course with Vlad living in LA, he gets to see him more often.'

'It is hard I suppose when you live apart from your children.'

'It wasn't my choice. Hugh, my husband, wanted to be on the driest most solid land after he was discharged from the Navy.'

Catherine laughed lightly. She had no idea how to respond.

'I have offered to take the baby for awhile. Terry is so busy and she won't stop feeding him. If she did it would make him more accessible, although I support her decision.'

'_No you don't.'_ thought Catherine. _'You hate that you can't control her or your son.' _Catherine tried to keep a bland face. How a little sex could wake up a sleeping persona almost made her smile. She placed a hand on the arm to stop anymore subversive pleading.

'I think it's wonderful that she is able to do something which was denied to me. I so admire her independent spirit.'

Catherine wasn't sure where she wanted to be. Her smile felt forced but she moved on with a polite excuse me. Other than Patrick and a surprising show from Howie, there wasn't anyone else who interested her. She looked up to find her husband's beautiful blue eyes centered on her. She smiled at him above the crowd and lowered her eyes. Vincent was immediately at her side.

'I'm hungry.'

'I was just thinking the same thing myself.'

With a smile and wave at Patrick, they left.

* * *

The excitement and fun at the food tent increased as more and more of the cocktail party guests moved down to the field in search of food. The younger people ran down the lane, carefree and happy while the older folk took advantage of the golf carts to traverse the uneven torch lit lane.

Music continued to blare out from the speakers. Very little alcohol was served at the tent. None was needed to capture and hold the happy mood engineered by the event. There was some desultory dancing. Jason was absent from this event. It gave Terry the opportunity to come out and spend a little time with her friends. She seemed relaxed and happy. Some had wondered if she was going to be able to manage the excitement the following day. She had seemed to falter earlier in the evening but looking at her moving from table to table and greeting people, she seemed the essence of a perfect hostess.

Patrick had come down to talk with her family. They had been reluctant to join the early evening cocktail party, mostly due to language difficulties. The host understood, but came down himself to ensure that everyone was well fed and happy. His ability to speak and understand Brazilian Portuguese was enough to help negotiate some Spanish words. Most of the family was minimally English speaking. Eventually he gravitated towards Alejandro. The elder Mexican gentleman was graciousness personified. He cleared away a small table and invited Patrick to join him in a glass of wine.

'Senor Patrick, my thanks to you for this delightful party in honour of my daughter. She is my treasure. I am blessed by her...felicidad. Calienta mi Corazon,' he said emotionally, touching his hand to his chest.

'Alejandro, my thanks to your daughter for enabling my freedom and safety through the return of my dear friend Catherine. This kind of gift is distinctive, incomparable. A unique set of circumstances returned my friend from near death so that her son could save me from a certain death. What I am doing is little thanks. As I looked at my friend Catherine tonight and see her, nearly the same as she was twenty years ago, I fully realize the real miracle.'

The two men nodded sagely and went on to discuss the plans for the following day. Both were pleased that the weather held for the occasion. A few people passed by and shared a few words with them but they were able to enjoy each other's company virtually undisturbed. Patrick who had been an only child did not feel that he had missed anything other than his father's genuine love, for most of his life. The offer to host the wedding had been spontaneous, mostly as a way of showing thanks. Sitting here with a man, a virtual stranger, and a family previously unknown to him with members from around the world, he was drawn into a vision of what real family life could be. In Brazil, in similar circumstances he always felt like a stranger, not due to language or even culture, but for reasons he couldn't explain. Perhaps the land there was not his own and the relationship with his father in law was strained because of the secrets he held about Gabriella. Patrick only knew a profound sense of relief and peace for the first time since his wife died.

There were no furtive or clandestine issues in this event to mar the celebration. Two people in love were making a commitment to each other. How he wished there could have been more of that in his life.

Marian stopped at the table to ask if Alejandro had everything he needed. She spoke to him in Spanish. It was clear she had tremendous respect for him. She was on her way to bed and leaned over to kiss the elder gentleman on his cheek.

'Don't get up Alejandro. I just want to say goodnight.' She had toned down considerably. A waft of her unique brand of perfume drifted up between the men. She turned and smiled at Patrick, wishing him a pleasant goodnight. They both observed her retreating back with different thoughts. Marian's movements, as she stepped up into the motor home she shared with three other women, were graceful and unconsciously inviting. Both men sighed, wondering if the provocative gesture was for either of them. Alejandro, who knew her well, doubted it.

Cathy and Jacob returned from their own tryst in the field. A long walk, lingering beneath the clearest late summer moon, enjoying the sounds of nature all combined to make them sleepy. They did little more than grab a light meal, say goodnight to those still hanging around and fall into bed. The day ahead promised to be full. No one wanted to be less than well rested.

Whispered conversations were taking place behind the walls of several trailers despite lights out. Catherine and Vincent did not, it seemed, understand that they needed to rest. The laughter and fun rang out against the walls as they continued their exploration of the budding energy which overflowed from their love.


	13. Chapter 13

At precisely 3:50 p.m. the following afternoon, under Eric's guidance, a procession was gathering at one end of the encampment. Four beautiful women dressed in black settled themselves on either side of two handsome and unique men. Catherine and Marian held Vincent's arms and headed the procession. Cathy and Sue, equally beautiful, held on to Jacob. Behind them, dressed in red, stood Terry's cousins holding the arms of her two male relatives, one from Spain and one from Mexico. They made their way to the wedding pavilion to the song Mexicaine performed by Alexandre Segoya and Claude Bolling. The music was slow and measured with brief moments when a hint of excitement lingered just below the surface, much like the hours ahead.

The bride's most intimate family and friends gathered in front of the mobile from which Terry and her father emerged into bright sunshine. There was sustained applause for the exotic looking beauty. Terry looked dramatic in her dress which captured the flamenco style of Spain. The bodice was fitted with a sweetheart neckline. From a drop asymmetrical waist, layers of ruffles in an oblique pattern fell softly from her knees to her ankles. A lacey bolero top fitted loosely like a beautiful choker necklace. The bolero hooked under the bust line but her ample cleavage was exposed in a way which accented the fit. It was held in place by a decidedly pencil slim Indian looking brooch. The jewels embedded within it captured the sunshine and dazzled brightly in the afternoon light. Long sleeves ended in a bell shaped ruffle and completed the look.

When Terry first saw the dress, she was startled. How often had she looked at her parents wedding photograph and seen a similar style. Erin's vision was perfect for the occasion. It captured and blended elements of both traditional and modern styles. Like her mother, Terry wore only a large hand crafted white muslin flower tucked in neatly beside Sue's beautifully designed chignon. In her hand she carried a bouquet of red and white carnations.

Male hands reached out to escort her down the steps. She watched as the last of her wedding party made their way in front of her and disappeared into the tent. Her father, resplendent in a white suit, sporting a boutonniere of two red roses moved forward and offered his arm. They would walk together to the ceremony.

From the speakers placed around the makeshift courtyard, the sounds of lyrical music accompanying the words of Federico Garcia Lorca, rang out. Alma Ausente, the haunting Spanish song rendered by Ana Belen played, its melodious notes floating softly into the ambiance of solemnity. The walk to the tent was slow and measured in keeping with the philosophic nature of the verses.

Terry's mother had been an aficionado of the Spanish poet and his work. The lament had been written to assuage a loss suffered during bull fighting. It had also been written during the Spanish revolution. Terry chose that particular song in memory of her mother, of Lorca, and those of her Andalusia ancestors who died over many centuries fighting for freedom.

Terry halted at the entrance of the tent and stepped aside to allow her family to precede her. She kissed and hugged each one before they entered the large, simply decorated space. Once everyone had passed through, the flaps on the tent were closed leaving the puzzled guests to wait inside and wonder why the bride appeared before her husband to be.

Other friends and invited guests already inside, stood in a circle around the perimeter. A few chairs were provided for the elderly. All kept their eyes on what appeared to be a makeshift altar where two unadorned high backed wooden chairs held court beside a hand carved low table supporting an enormous bouquet of gladioli and a single candle whose yellow flame burned brightly, protected behind an hourglass. Placed face down were two framed photos.

* * *

It soon became obvious that unlike other weddings, the bride would wait for her groom. Those who checked their programs read the interesting information that the service was to be a musical event filled with the reverberation of tunes and rhythms from around the world including as many genres as possible. The bride and groom would declare their intent to marry in song, drawing their own words from the verses of others. Each piece would represent some particular aspect of importance to either Terry or Jason and tell a story about their deep and profound love for each other.

Outside the tent, Terry released the last of her nervousness to the balmy, late summer air, by taking some deep breaths. She shared a few loving thoughts with her father. The hug which Alejandro gave to his only remaining child held all the pride, tenderness and loss which filled both their hearts. The exchange was surreal, knowing that on the other side of the canvas enclosure, lay her destiny. To enter meant that her life would be forever changed. Jason came to mind. Her hand was steady as she prepared to go in.

Terry chose eight of her friends and family to be attendants, but not in the traditional sense. At the entrance, Marian, Catherine, Cathy and Sue, all dressed in formal black, stood on one side waiting for her. On the other side, her four female cousins equally elegant in red created a passage for her to enter the wedding chamber.

At the sound of the trumpets heralding another Ana Belen rendition of Lorca's poetry entitled, Son de Negroes de Cuba, the bride entered with her father. She placed her bouquet of blood red carnations in Catherine's arms. Father and daughter proceeded to dance perfectly together, circling the room, enjoying the lively music. The ruffles on the tail of the skirt flew left and right at each turn seeming to ripple and sway outwards from the hips in a never ending Leminscate flow.

When the dance was done, amid resounding applause, Terry was escorted to one of the chairs. Alejandro took the other chair and sat semi facing his daughter. They looked the picture of elegance, pausing, smiling as if waiting for an afternoon repast in the courtyard of some balcony overlooking a town square in Spain. Smiling widely at her father, she took one photograph and turned it up. The serene face of her mother was placed on one side of the flowers. The lively song, of their dance, was a testament to Santiago, Cuba, the last home of her mother and grandparents before they came to America.

As soon as the murmurs settled, Terry picked up the photo of her brother and held him to her breast while Eva Cassidy sang her own epitaph in the tune, _I'll Know You by Heart_. Tears filled everyone's eyes. Those who knew Terry's brother, understood what a loss it had been. The brave young man, whose courage and willingness to fight, went out of him in a moment of weakness, had held tremendous promise. When the melody was completed, Terry placed Mario's photo on the other side of the flowers. A moment of silence followed the gesture.

New notes heralded another song, but a male voice rang out into the silence. Terry turned toward the front flaps of the tent listening to Martin Page render his own version of the anthem _Mi Morena_. If Terry's eyes remained suspiciously moist during the songs of honour to her mother and brother, she could not restrain herself any longer. She dabbed at the tears which fell hoping that her waterproof mascara would hold up. Part way through the song, the tent flaps opened and two men came forward. Both were Jason's stepfathers. Hugh had with him, a box of cigars and a bottle of tequila, a replica of the gifts Jason had given Alejandro when the young man asked for the hand of his daughter in marriage. The proud father accepted the gifts with a handshake and smile.

_Take this cross of feathers and bone  
Take this heart I've carved in stone  
In your name_

Philippe carried in his hands a velvet case containing a necklace whose mother of pearl heart shaped pendant shimmered with all the colours of the rainbow. It hung from a simple silver chain. He removed the gift from its case and placed it around Terry's neck. The pendant fell into the space just over her breasts. It glistened as if capturing the tears of all of them.

_Where the setting sun surrenders to the moon  
Mi querida  
I wait for you  
_  
Hands on her heart, she rose from her chair and kissed the two men who helped to shape the character of the man she would marry. As her own father moved away, another song was already beginning to play in reply. An old Dionne Warwick tune _All the Time _played softly on the speakers.

_A__ll the time I thought there's only me  
Crazy in a way  
That no one else could be  
I would have given everything I own  
If someone would have said  
You're not alone…_

I can't believe that you were somewhere too  
Thinking all the time  
There's only you…

Terry waited. Few knew the couple had planned their music so that neither would know each other's song until it played. Where Jason was located he had access to the sound system hrough an ear piece. Each song he chose should only confirm that the love he felt for Terry was destined to be. The handsome, daring and kindhearted man understood the meaning behind every word of the song from the woman he loved because he had been there when she was alone and saddened beyond belief. He hoped that his next offering would tell her, and the world, what was really and truly in his heart. He waited patiently. There were still other songs and events to be celebrated before he could call Terry his wife.

* * *

Jason's family members, like Terry's would precede him. To the lovely Secret Garden song called _The Rap_, the tent flaps opened and Jason's brother Hugh Jr and his wife Gina entered along with other locally resident uncles, aunts, cousins and friends of the groom. Some fancy Celtic footwork was seen from a few of them. They joined the circle around the tent and waited breathlessly for the next song to begin. In the distance a rider could be seen approaching. He would have to rise up over the hill before coming down to the front.

Like Catherine who had been asked to hold the flowers, Marian had been assigned the task of bringing Patrick to the front of the tent. She walked with him to the entrance where he had a clear view of the field on the left, leading to the slight rise in front of the tent. Before his eyes, he saw a sight which moved him to tears. His bowed head prompted Marian to take his hands and give it a slight squeeze in recognition of his pain.

Riding the magnificent mare, MediaNoite, the animal whose soul carried the energy of Gabriella, Jason moved her along prancing, performing beautiful though not intricate steps in honour of her deceased owner. The rest of the congregation knew Jason would ride up over the hill to meet his bride, but they had not expected this display of beautiful horsemanship to a Brazilian tune called _Linda_, performed by Lee Ritenour.

_Voce e Linda, _

_Mas que Jamais_

_Voce e linda, sim_

_Esta cancon..._

The horse, itself mourning the loss of Gabriella's hands, found her footing and responded to the commands on the rein by second nature. Rider and horse went out of sight for awhile then appeared at the top overlooking the tent where the flaps had been opened wider so that everyone could see out over the expanse of the hill. A shadow fell between the sun and the observers inside. Those with keen eyesight could easily see that the rider was astride a magnificent horse.

The Los Angeles Mounted Police had been Jason's first unit when he joined the force. He gave honour to his fledgling job by wearing the full parade uniform complete with Stetson hat. In his dress blues, Jason appeared heroic. There were no theatrics. Just man and beast perfectly joined as one, in the moment. He turned sideways so that beauty of the mare could be seen. Her long black tail was waving gracefully. Shards of sunlight shimmered between the strands. Horse and rider waited for the end of the song before turning to face forward.

The sounds of firm measured marching music took everyone by surprise until the men who accompanied Jason from California appeared in perfect formation, from the sides of the tent, to a tune with an insistent and unusual beat. It was Enya's _Ebudae_. Not one man missed a step. They kept pace until the eight men formed two similar lines of four opposite to the women and turned, as everyone did, to look out over the horizon.

There was no need to gallop. A slow trot down the hillside, allowed the words of a new song to play out slowly. Jason had found his heart in the music of Martin Page and continued to discover treasures among the collection by the talented singer and song writer. As the opening bars of _Take This Man_ played out, he made his way down to meet the woman of his heart.

'_Take this man who comes to you, take me to your side.'_

Terry had never seen Jason in this dress uniform. Her fiancé had long since left the mounted unit when they met. That he could still fit in the same size he was twenty years ago said a lot about his physical fitness. The glossy thigh high boots shone. Silver spurs glinted in the sun. They were a gift from his mother and stepfather. He was every inch a woman's vision of the ultimate hero. Jason brought the horse to a halt a few feet from the aperture. His men stood smartly to attention and proudly saluted their Commander as he dismounted and handed over the reins to Dinarte. From behind the line, Vladimir and Sandy stepped out. The proud father of the groom was dressed in his own parade blues and Sandy wore a clinging black sleeveless sheath gown relieved at the neck by a triple strand of pearls. Each one was clasping a hand of young Laddie, who was looking quite military in a suit matching his father's own. Grandfather, grandmother and grandson walked forward between the saluting men, and the double row of women. Sandy kissed Terry's cheek while Vladimir bowed gracefully and young laddie offered a single rose to his mother. As they moved away, Jason stood tall and erect, hat in hand, waiting for the sign that his choice, the woman he desired above all, truly wanted him.

'_Kneel down in the blue light…let your hair fall down around__…..'_

Terry held out her hand and beckoned towards Jason whose long legs brought him to her easily. He kneeled down on one knee and kissed the hand of his love before offering his arm to her. Both turned back to the table where a man also dressed in uniform officially began the ceremony with the prayer song, _Sigma_ from Secret Garden.

Between the verses of the song, he spoke out his own prayer.

_Beloved__ family and friends of the bride and groom join us today, as we ask for the blessings of the Creator on this ceremony and all those who bring their love and guidance to this couple. May you all find peace and kindness in your heart for them and each other. Let us not forget that love is all and keeps us close to the ideal intended by our God._

_Amen_

He waited until the end of the second chorus before asking both bride and groom if they were ready to be married.

If people expected a somber and neatly ordered rendition of some ancient love call, they were mistaken. This was the one tune in which both yearned to perform but could not agree on which version. Jason favoured the old version by Brook Benton and Dinah Washington, but Terry preferred the updated version by Michael Buble and Sharon Jones feeling it had a more lively beat. She won out. Taking each other's hand and looking at their guests, they performed the tune with some unique dance moves and expressions which brought smiles to the faces of everyone.

'_It takes someone special to make me say I do and Baby you've got what it takes'_

Terry's finger wagging was hilarious. She executed some terrific turns under Jason's guidance. Their fun brought a unique joy to the proceedings. Everyone was waiting to see what surprises they had in store for the vows.

The officer performing the ceremony invited Terry to say her vows. She waited patiently for the introduction to her song. She returned to her Latin roots with a song from the vast work of Gloria Estefan. Steal Your Heart was introduced with a lovely guitar solo.

'_I'll steal your heart and set it free… __I may hold you close to me but these ties will never bind you.'_

Jason and Terry both had passable voices. She carried a tune well. The music was set up to allow them to sing along with the original singers, if they wished, but Jason chose to sing his vows while he played guitar. He performed Change the World written by Eric Clapton making it a real promise rather than wishing. He fully intended that he would make Terry and Vladimir his world.

_If I could reach the stars, pull one down for you…._

_That this love I have inside is everything it seems…._

Even as the couple played out their stories in song the guests were astounded at how well they managed to stay focused. A little choreography matched the words. A glance at Sandy showed how proud she was. It seemed that she had a hand in making this unique idea work.

The presiding officer who seemed to have no part to sing, next invited the exchange of rings. Terry's choice came from the Canadian songbird Celine Dion. It had not been a hit record but was on one of her most successful albums. Terry loved the song and vowed to make a good effort to sing while placing the ring on Jason's finger. She called her cousin Serena, her ring attendant to her, and taking the ring from a pillow Terry turned to face her husband. With a deep tremulous sigh, she waited for the introduction and sang with the same breathy passion generated by the talented artist.

_Everything that I am and all that I'll be is nothing at all if you can't be with me__…..._

_Here and now is all that matters, right here with you is where I'll stay….._

_All that is you becomes part of me too, your love seduces me._

Any pretense of strength left Jason as the softly seductive tune played out. The tender and sensuous lover in Terry had created an intimacy with her voice. The sight and sound of everyone and everything disappeared for a few minutes. He felt taken back in time to the moment when they met. It seemed like so long since he last heard that loving naked desire in her voice. He hoped to match her with another song from Martin Page called Blessed.

_Who'd have thought I'd find romance….with you I am blessed._

_Our journey begins, now you wear my ring….._

It was the perfect set of words for the moment. There was no doubt that this couple were deeply in love. They closed off their ceremony with a Taylor Dane/Sam Moore duet, Upon the Journey's end and a softly passionate kiss.

Catherine and Patrick were called upon as witnesses in thanks for their contributions while another less well known piece of music from Claude Bolling and Alexandre Lagoya, Hispanic Dance, played in the background. When the legalities were done, the presiding officer stood in front of the waiting crowd raising his hands and asking for silence.

'It is my great pleasure to be the first to introduce the happy couple. Ladies and gentlemen, Mr. and Mrs. Jason Romanow!'

Terry would not be changing her name, of course, but just once, at this special time, she wanted to be known by that name. The Officiant moved away amid shouts, and cheers as more applause rang out. The new husband and wife kissed again before calling their young son to join them. To the sounds of Romance de la Luna, from Ana Belen, they waited for their attendants to return, inside and outside assuming the guard positions. On the upbeat, they swayed out into the bright sunshine where a horse and buggy awaited the family. Jason helped his new bride and son into the carriage before jumping up himself. The trio smiled and waved as the carriage moved off under a rain shower of petals and bubbles from the guests. Streamers attached to the back began flowing in the wind like hands waving goodbye under the most happy circumstances. There would be much more to come in the hours ahead and preparations had been underway for days. In the meantime Jason and Terry would take a couple of hours to recover, spend time with their son and then return to the tent which was to be transformed into a large banquet hall.

* * *

Note: I have not meant to infringe on the copyright of any of the original composers or performers of the songs. All of them are in my music collection and available for download on iTunes if desired.

_If you have the songs in your collection I hope you will listen even as you are reading._

_Vetivera_


	14. Chapter 14

Epilogue

Two and a half hours later, Terry and Jason returned to the area which had been transformed from a wedding chamber to a banquet hall. It was surprising that the tables and chairs flanked by two enormous banquet tables could create such a significant change. The usual process of introduction took place with loud and boisterous cheers for the members of the wedding party, but none as heart warming as those saved for the bride and groom. There was no head table. Terry and Jason elected to sit at the centre of the room with people all around them. During the evening they would get up often to join a table for a few minutes to share a laugh or thank people for their participation.

Terry had changed from the formal gown of her wedding to the white dress which she originally intended to wear. As she told Jason, 'I am going to dance. I don't want to spoil my gown.' She was no less beautiful in the stark white simple dress with a full ¾ length skirt. A shorter bolero top allowed freedom of movement and warmth if the night became chilly. Jason also changed out of his riding dress uniform into the current officer's dress uniform. He looked handsome and elegant. White gloves gave him a distinguished air.

A few other guests had been invited to the reception. Senator Joe Maxwell and Diana Bennett arrived. They wanted to attend the wedding but a previous commitment made them later than planned. Some friends from California arrived, as well as wives of Jason's men.

Patrick still played the role of gracious host, welcoming friends, family and acquaintances as they entered the big tent, many surprised by the delightful country setting. Once everyone was seated for supper, the introductions began. The air of expectancy generated by the unusual circumstances of the musical wedding had everyone wondering if the reception would be the same.

Indeed, it didn't take long for Eric, the self appointed master of ceremonies, to announce that anyone wanting kisses from the bride and groom would have to sing for the privilege. In lieu of song, they could recite poetry or dance. There were murmurs of surprise and excitement generated by the prospect.

Unknown to those who were not familiar with Jason's family, Philippe was a sound engineer. He owned a large recording company in LA and had arranged all the music for the wedding, rehearsing with Jason and Terry until they felt comfortable with their performance. He provided a numbered list of karaoke songs from which guests could choose to sing or dance. His DJ, a professional young man with a big smile and quick hands was ready with a song in seconds.

To round out the wedding performance, Terry and Jason decided to dance first before eating. Shortly after their entrance they performed a traditional and beautiful wedding dance to Kenny Loggins ballad, For The First Time. They separated and stood apart for a special song from Gloria Estefan, Along Came You, in which both invited young Vladimir to join his parents on the dance floor. Never one to shy away from the limelight, the young toddler, now dressed in a suit, was lifted between his parents for a special turn on the floor.

The most challenging time came when Jason asked his parents to find someway to dance and make it work. So far, during the proceedings, each had been as civil as they could, avoiding any rehashing or competitiveness. Sandy was still inclined to whine about Vladimir having more access to the baby but accepted, outwardly, that distance made the difference. So as not to embarrass her son she went to a rather elaborate but pointed song hoping to convince everyone except herself that she had indeed moved on.

There was no doubt that the mother of the groom was an extraordinary dancer. She was both graceful and svelte. She went to the dance floor with her former husband to an old Michael Bolton tune, A Time For Letting Go. She danced part of the time with Vladimir, part of the time with Philippe before being escorted to her husband Hugh. The pacing of the music and the various transitions from one partner to another beautifully showcased her long dormant talent but did not quite convince anyone that she had forgiven her former husband for loving another.

Dinner was served with much fanfare. It held a mixture of Southwest and Spanish cuisine, with some spicy textures for those who could handle it. Laughter flowed as freely as the wine and it didn't take long for inhibitions to loosen up. Some of the younger people did a creditable job of belting out their favourite tunes. It was soon noted that the kissing performance was directly related to the applause, leading everyone to strive for better performance.

Catherine, who had been engrossed in a conversation with Senator Joe, decided it was time for her to do something which she had never been able to even consider. Vincent's features had always forced their love story from the public domain into an underground fissured mentality. Life was limited to a much smaller sphere of acceptance. However, the wedding weekend was not occurring in the middle of New York society and to her recovered mind, the hidden lifestyle no longer appealed to her. She was happy to have had the opportunity to make a public excursion with her beloved husband. The chance to be bold in a less intimidating environment than Manhattan, and declare her love, was too tempting to miss.

Catherine had lived with music all her life. The ability to carry a tune was within her. The words and music were supplied. All she needed to do was step up to the makeshift stage. Even as her mind listened to Joe talk about the program which the governor hoped would involve Catherine's active participation, her eyes strayed to Vincent, who had been listening and smiling at her side, then to the stage.

'Excuse me Joe. There's something I have to do.' There had been a performance lull. It was the moment of decision. She made her way to the stage.

She nodded to the DJ and gave him the number of the tune she wished to sing, before addressing the crowd.

'I offer a loving toast to the bride and groom tonight. They both know that I wish them well. I am here tonight because Terry cared enough to help me fight my way back from the living dead. I love her dearly. I am however going to dedicate my song to the beacons of light which guided me to Terry's voice and enabled my recovery. To the bride and groom and to my husband, Vincent and my son, Jacob.'

She began in time with the music and continued singing by heart, a piece well remembered in her life.

_When I fall in love. It will be forever, or I'll never fall in love._

_In a restless world like this is…._

_Love is ended before it began and too many moonlight kisses, seem to fade in the warmth of the sun. _

Her soft voice contained a loving sincerity which could not be denied. Only she and Vincent knew and understood the meaning of those moonlight kisses, which had been denied her during their chaste and often yearning courtship. At the end of her song, she smiled in the direction of her husband who jumped up and was at her side in a heartbeat, kissing her as she had always wish, in front of everyone.

Applause was significant and the bride and groom were charged with matching the sincerity of the kiss with one of their own.

Flushed with her marital 'coming out' moment, Catherine returned to the table knowing that she felt strong and reassured about taking on more challenges in the future.

Jacob watched with fascination as his mother sang from her heart. The shift in her persona over the two days they had been away was astounding. What Jacob had always wanted was for his beautiful father to step out of the dungeon of the tunnels and take his rightful place, above or below, but having the choice to decide. He never imagined that his biological mother would have a part in making that dream come true but his happiness overflowed at this event even more than his own wedding, which had been to be a happy enough. That was just a perception. Everyone wore a mask. This was truly a place where his parents were openly together and happy.

He looked at his smiling wife. Her face was one of serenity. The weekend had been good for her too. He knew that she had a better than average voice and encouraged her to sing. In her happy, unguarded moments she was always singing something. He wondered if there was any song which she didn't know. Cathy balked at his request.

'Why don't you go up Jacob?'

'I will never be able to sing like you do.' He kissed her cheek and smiled in a way which she could not resist.

'Alright but I am not going to dedicate this to you. You already got a shout out from your mother.' she flounced off with a mock pout.

The dinner was almost over. It seemed that the bride and groom had spent the better part of it kissing. At the start, the announcement that there would be no response to glass tapping, did not discourage anyone. Apparently there were a lot of budding entertainers in the audience. When Cathy made her way to the DJ, she would be one of the last. The person in front of her was a dancer, performing a unique twist on the flamenco. He wasn't particularly skilled but he was humorous and got a good round of applause and a quick peck for his efforts.

Cathy never gave a thought to how she would sound. Once on the stage and standing in front of everyone she felt as if the tableau had been created in slow motion. She heard little. The sounds faded from her consciousness. She wondered in a moment of panic if she were going to faint. From some distant place, she heard herself say, 'this song is dedicated to my mother Lena. It was her favourite.' Suddenly Cathy could say no more. Her throat felt tight. She looked at the DJ, hoping to tell him to forget it but he started the music and she missed her cue. Cathy apologized and tried to focus but no sound came out of her mouth. Embarrassment was creeping up on her. She became mortified by the position in which she found herself. Mercifully, the DJ did not restart the music, but the silence stretched out.

Two men rose in response to this moment of vulnerability. Others had cried while singing but no one had been frozen in time. Before Jacob could leave his chair, wondering what had prompted him to create this unfortunate situation, Philippe was at her side.

'Do you normally sing this song a cappella?', he asked gently.

'Yes,' she whispered in response, staring at Philippe as if she was seeing him for the first time. A memory came to mind. She set it aside.

Philippe picked up an electric guitar and sat on a nearby stool. 'Start when you are ready,' he said sitting smiling in encouragement.' I'll catch up.' And, he did, supporting her through the song Sweet Dreams, a Patsy Cline original. .Cathy did indeed have an incredibly beautiful voice. For some reason she poured so much emotion into the verses, as if the meaning was somehow attached to her from her mother's own anguish. No one heard the anguish of Lena's unfortunate life only the beauty of her daughter's voice, filled with emotion.

She ended on a soft note, drawn out to its sweetest source. Those who had previously heard the country music songstress, would believe that Cathy had just channeled her pitch perfectly.

Jacob, who had subsided with the rise of Philippe, could not believe that his wife was capable of that level of performance. She sounded like a syrene. He certainly felt mesmerized by the seductive beauty of it. As he watched her, his eyes were able to see something extant to the shape of her body. In an oval light just beyond her body he could clearly see images as yet undeveloped which signified a connection outside of the here and now. It was the first time, that what he could see in dreams, became a living vision in front of his face. He didn't know if the pattern could be duplicated in others but it appeared to be divine in nature. He wanted to shake it off, as if it was merely the glowing aura of his wife but he couldn't.

The shimmering pattern became a life like tableau. The look and feel of the people were real in his sight line. Jacob was aware that only he could see the images. It was like the history of his wife's ancestry flowing like a slow motion movie. He was astounded. Something about the music, the voice and the love he felt for his wife opened a door into his mind, showing him skills which were about to unfold in his life. He hardly had time to fathom the depth of it before Cathy was finished. The sound of silence was followed by thunderous applause. She turned to look at her accompanist with a grateful smile. The feathered light moved from Cathy to Philippe and back in waves.

'Oh my God!' Jacob uttered. He shut off the vision in his head and rose to welcome his wife back to the table. Tears filled his eyes. It was not time to reveal knowledge to Cathy. It may never be the right time but he would play it by ear. The weekend had been wonderful. Hardly any events marred the delightful wedding. Soon they would all return to Manhattan to pick up the pieces of their lives but Jacob knew that things would never be the same.

* * *

_This story is dedicated to the many couples I have married over the years. It has been a real fun part of my life. I have never attended a wedding like this one but someday I hope to officiate at such an event. I never fail to be moved by the beauty of love expressed on the day when two people declare their commitment to each other, openly to family and friends. It is such a profound moment and well worth the effort that couples put into their special day. I hope tol be back to write more about the Wells family in awhile but if not, I am happy to end on this uplifting story and a little teaser for the future._

_Vetivera_


End file.
